Meet the new Philadelphia Eagles

philadelphia_eagles_logo_4008Philadelphia, PA – Following one of the most storied days in free agency history in Philadelphia, the Eagles have two new prized running backs that will be taking the field in 2015-2016.

Chip Kelly and company inked both Demarco Murray and Ryan Mathews to substantial contracts for the upcoming seasons. Sure, we know what they can do on the field, but what about the men behind the facemasks?

The CT has collected a detailed look on both Murray and Mathews. Here are several facts that you may not know about the two newest Philadelphia Eagles.

A truly tortured soul. May he find contentedness in Philadelphia.

Demarco Murray

– For the first two years of his career with Dallas, Murray thought Jerry Jones was someone’s senile grandfather who wandered the sidelines during each home game.

– Roomed at Oklahoma with Sam Bradford. Once sucker punched Bradford because he ate all of his pickles without replacing them

– Tells people his favorite movie is “Die Hard.” His real favorite movie is “The Notebook.”

– Worst experience in Dallas? Having to hold Tony Romo’s hair back in the bathroom after he couldn’t stop crying/vomiting after each playoff loss.

– Took a massive crap on top of the Dallas Titantron when he realized the Cowboys had no intentions of re-signing him. Told no one.


Ryan Mathews

– Extraordinary liar. Actually kept straight face when he told reporters living in Philadelphia would be more enjoyable than San Diego.

– Wears a black visor because he is actually blind. Has to be led on to the field for each game by his guide dog, Mr. Spanks.

– Was seriously considering not signing with Eagles after Murray joined the team, but he had already flown all the way out here and just couldn’t stomach having to go back to Philadelphia International Airport.

– Has no problem with Chip Kelly’s famed training regimens, as he is already a fitness fanatic. Has assured team he will be the most fit player in the trainer’s rehab office when he is inevitably hurt by week 3.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s