It’s starting to come together Pepper…it’s starting to come together
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Pep!

Well…is this it, 76ers fans? Is it starting to come together, Pepper? IS IT STARTING TO COME TOGETHER?

Are we getting too far ahead of ourselves? I can’t remember the last time I jumped off of my couch and fist pumped at the end of a 76ers game…

Are 76ers fans setting themselves up for a disappointment? This is just lightning in a bottle, right? They’re not…actually….good are they?

We all remember the movie “Major League,” right? Coach Lou Brown, the grizzled coach of the Cleveland Indians who had to seriously debate leaving his job as a tire salesman before taking the position, bellowed out the headline of this article to his bench coach Pepper after the lowly Indians swept their first series of the season against a mediocre team.

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Wait a minute…what’s going on with that hole Odell Beckham punched in the Lambeau wall?

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So apparently this is the hole in the wall at Lambeau Field that Odell Beckham Jr. thrust his stone hand through after the Giants loss to the Packers on Sunday. Impressive, yes, but something is just off about it…is there a way to get a closer look?

Enhance!

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Odell Beckham Jr. reportedly stole cursed doubloon from Blackbeard’s ship while in Miami
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Blackbeard the Pirate is not a Giants fan.

New York, NY – This should give the New York media more ammunition to pile on Giants wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr.

After dropping several passes in key situations against the Green Bay Packers yesterday and facing harsh criticism for his decision to attend a boat party in Miami last week with several teammates, new information is breaking that reported Odell Beckham Jr. stole a gold doubloon piece from a spectral ghost ship the revelers came upon while sailing through deep fog off the Florida coast.

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Freddie Mitchell: ‘If it weren’t for McNabb I would have been better than Steve Smith Sr.’

mitchellPhiladelphia, PA – Appearing on 97.5 the Fanatic, former Eagles wide receiver addressed the news of the day that Hall of Fame bound Steve Smith Sr. had officially announced his retirement.

Mitchell, who was actually drafted higher than Smith Sr. in the 2001 draft, took the opportunity to declare that he would have had a better career than the surefire hall of fame wide receiver if Donovan McNabb had not been the quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles.

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Finally some good news for Chip Kelly!
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What, me worry? (photo credit: USA Today)

Wow, when God closes a door he certainly opens a window. After another disheartening season for Chip Kelly, the 49ers head coach deserved to hear some good news about his vaunted system and coaching ability.

Well, good news Chip, over the past two years you lead all NFL coaches in dismissals from their jobs! Congratulations! That’s quite an accomplishment for any head coach and only you, and you alone, can say you’ve reached this pinnacle of success.

Two years and two firings….that’s one more than even Gus Bradley or Jim Caldwell can brag about.

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BREAKING: Marcus Hayes responsible for Jeff McLane press box ejection

auinezeiPhiladelphia, PA – Following the ongoing story of Philadelphia Inquirer Eagles beat writer Jeff McLane being kicked out of the Eagles press box this afternoon, new details have come to light that show a Daily News reporter may have been responsible for McLane’s ejection.

Reports have come in to the Toboggan that show Daily News beat writer Marcus Hayes texted the Eagles security line with several complaints about McLane’s behavior, which is highly unusual since the security line is reserved for anonymously reporting bad fan behavior on game day.

An Eagles insider procured the texts that led to McLane’s ejection and have sent them to the Toboggan.

Here are the texts from Hayes to the Eagles security line that led to the ejection:

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Why is the Denver Nuggets’ court an homage to the Soviet Union?

What the fuck, Denver? Last I checked we lived in America. What in god’s name is up with your home court?

I know an old-fashioned hammer and sickle when I sees it. I’M ON TO YOU. Do you make your fans wait in week long lines for bread at halftime, you pinko commie STOOLIES.

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Dallas Cowboys sign funeral home owner to active roster for Sunday

romo2212Philadelphia, PA – In light of new developments prior to Sunday’s game, a Dallas Cowboys team representative announced that Larry Donovan, owner and operator of Donovan Family Funeral Home and Cremation services, had been signed to the 53-man active roster.

The move was described as “precautionary” and was in no way due to the announcement that Tony Romo would play several snaps in the second half against the division rival Philadelphia Eagles.

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2016 was a hell of a year for the Coggin Toboggan and that’s all that matters

cogginDoes 2016 have you down? Bummed out about what happened with Donald Trump or the bevy of celebrity/athlete/politics deaths this year? Well buck up, kiddo, because I’m here today to tell you that 2016 was a HELL of a year for The Coggin Toboggan.

Yes, your favorite Philadelphia sports blog had a very successful second year of existence and that’s really all that should matter to you. Sad that Carrie Fisher will no longer be using the force? Take solace in the fact that our views and visitors are both up 10% over last year’s stats! I know, right?! That’s awesome and totally makes up for everything horrible that happened in 2016.

More than 45,000 of you losers came to our site this past year. I’m sure about 90% of the visitors were bots or stoners who were sidetracked looking for pornography, but hell, 45,000 visitors!

We received 58,000 views this year as well. Sure, I clicked on the site 57,000 times, but that’s not what matters.

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A Festivus Airing of Grievances to our dear readers

he05wkmI’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE, AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT. YOU, KRUGER, MY SON TELLS ME YOUR COMPANY STINK! – Frank Costanza.

 

Merry Festivus to all of our readers! What a day. I’ve already challenged my nine-month-old son to the feats of strength. He shit himself and rolled over, so I guess he showed me.

I’ve already screamed my grievances at my wife and family members this morning, so I figured I’d turn my attention to you, the dear readers. You all stink and it’s a Festivus miracle I’ve been able to put up with your nonsense for the past year.

Here are some of the dumbest tweets we’ve gotten in 2016 from our “fans.”

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