Finally some good news for Chip Kelly!


What, me worry? (photo credit: USA Today)

Wow, when God closes a door he certainly opens a window. After another disheartening season for Chip Kelly, the 49ers head coach deserved to hear some good news about his vaunted system and coaching ability.

Well, good news Chip, over the past two years you lead all NFL coaches in dismissals from their jobs! Congratulations! That’s quite an accomplishment for any head coach and only you, and you alone, can say you’ve reached this pinnacle of success.

Two years and two firings….that’s one more than even Gus Bradley or Jim Caldwell can brag about.

But now is not the time to rest on your laurels, good sir. No, now is the time to really get to work and find a THIRD team in three years to buy into you, your system that every NFL team has figured out how to crack, and the idea that you’re still a highly prized coaching prospect.

I won’t lie to you, it’s going to be tough. I’m not sure if any head coach has ever had three different head coaching positions in three years and be summarily dismissed from each one at the end of the year. Not even Rich Kotite could pull that off, so now is the time to dig deep and find out how inept you can really be.

Don’t take the easy way out, Chip, and scuttle back to the collegiate ranks where you’ve had success. No sir, that’s not the Chip I know. The Chip I know is the one who runs the same plays year in and year out, in the same formations, during the same game scenarios, and then expresses disbelief when they don’t work.

Damn it, Chip, there’s a vacancy in Buffalo right now and your buddy Lesean McCoy is waiting there for you to consistently misuse during each game and then throw under the bus when the season goes awry. Grab that brass ring!

God speed, Chipper. Help us, Chip Kelly, you’re our only hope.


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