New York Knicks

It’s starting to come together Pepper…it’s starting to come together
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Pep!

Well…is this it, 76ers fans? Is it starting to come together, Pepper? IS IT STARTING TO COME TOGETHER?

Are we getting too far ahead of ourselves? I can’t remember the last time I jumped off of my couch and fist pumped at the end of a 76ers game…

Are 76ers fans setting themselves up for a disappointment? This is just lightning in a bottle, right? They’re not…actually….good are they?

We all remember the movie “Major League,” right? Coach Lou Brown, the grizzled coach of the Cleveland Indians who had to seriously debate leaving his job as a tire salesman before taking the position, bellowed out the headline of this article to his bench coach Pepper after the lowly Indians swept their first series of the season against a mediocre team.

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Hinkie congratulates Okafor on fabulous debut, trades him to New York

76ers-center-jahlil-okaforBoston, Mass – Jahlil Okafor had his coming out party last night, scoring 26 points and snatching 7 rebounds in a 95-112 loss to the Boston Celtics, showcasing the offensive prowess that attracted so many teams to him in the NBA Draft.

76ers GM Sam Hinkie addressed the media after the game and was over the moon about Okafor’s performance.

“Jahlil showed everyone tonight why he had so much attention going into the 2015 draft. He absolutely dominated the low post and the center of the floor tonight, he was everything we expected and much, much more,” the beaming Hinkie said. “Which is why this next announcement is so hard for us to make.”

Hinkie revealed the 76ers traded Okafor after the game to the New York Knicks for center Lou Amundson and a second round pick in 2017.

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Bartolo Colon ejected for suspiciously delicious foreign substance on arm during yesterday’s start
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Bartolo eats because he is unhappy, and unhappy because he eats. It’s a vicious cycle.

New York, NY – Bartolo Colon, starting pitcher for the New York Mets, was ejected from his start after Philadelphia Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg alerted home plate umpire Larry Vanover to a strange substance on the pitchers forearm.

Upon closer inspection, Vanover found the substance was blue cheese dressing. He was able to confirm the substance’s presence even though Colon frantically tried to lick the condiment off of his forearm before the umpire could reach the pitcher’s mound.

Through a brief search, Vanover also found several buffalo wings stowed away under Colon’s cap. As he left the field, several pieces of celery fell from his pockets and a number of wet naps could be seen sticking out of the back pocket of his uniform.

A closeup of the embattled and rotund pitcher showed his face was smeared with hot sauce and several pieces of chicken were stuck in the folds of his neck fat.

“Frankly, there’s no place for it in baseball. We fully expect Bartolo to be suspended and we will be sending him to an emergency Weight Watchers meeting as soon as possible,” New York Mets manager Terry Collins told the media after the game was concluded.

Colon was not available to take media questions after the game, as he said he had some pressing matters to attend to at the clubhouse buffet

Interview with stand-up comedian Adam Ferrara

IMG_6322-Preferred Stand UpA car guy with a great sense of humor, stand up comedian Adam Ferrara has been entertaining comedy and television audiences since the early 90s. One of the stars of the U.S. version of Top Gear on the History channel, Ferrara also shares the screen with Edie Falco in the hit series Nurse Jackie on Showtime.

Previously, Ferrara starred with Denis Leary in the Emmy nominated FX drama Rescue Me. 

An internationally touring comedian, Ferrara has three Comedy Central specials and is a two-time nominee as best-male stand up by the American Comedy Awards.

Ferrara will be playing six shows at the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia from Thursday, Feb. 19 to Sunday, Feb. 22. You can purchase tickets here.

Despite being a die-hard Mets fan, Ferrara decided to waste his time and talk to us about his upcoming projects, sports fandom and his love of cars. For more information on Ferrara and upcoming show dates, visit his website here.

The CT : So obviously, as a host of the American version of “Top Gear” on the History Channel, you have to be interested in cars and automobile culture. Growing up in New York, did you foster a love for cars and know anything about putting them together? How did the interest come about?

Adam Ferrara: At a very young age I developed an emotional attachment to cars. My dad was my hero and I would be right by his side in the garage as he worked on cars. We quickly figured out my mechanical ability, so my job was to hold the light. I cannot wrench, but he taught me how cars work and their importance. He impressed upon me that a car is freedom and a form of escape. To this day when I need to think I take my 1970 deuce and quarter and drive up the coast.

The CT : You’ve driven/retrofitted a ton of odd cars on Top Gear. What was the car you had the best success with? Was the aquatic car in season four one of the biggest disasters you’ve had on the show?

Adam Ferrara: Define disaster? Yes, it was an amphibious car that sank. However, it did fine on land, so I’m batting .500. The first success that comes to mind was a ’69 Lincoln Mark III that I made into a Pope mobile. I picked up Cloris Leachman in it and drove her to the Emmys. We almost made it. The car did fine, I got lost and ran over spikes that popped my tires, Cloris called me an asshole and walked away but the car did fine.

The CT : What does it say about me that the previous two cars I’ve owned have been a 2006 Toyota Scion XA and a 1987 Volkswagen Jetta (a stick shift my friends called “The Bitch”).

Adam Ferrara: That you’re very thrifty.

The CT : Obviously you’re a sports guy and I love asking this question. This site was created in honor of an irrelevant Philadelphia Phillies pitcher that appeared in like 23 games for the Phillies in the early 2000s, David Coggin. Are there any irrelevant athletes that you grew up watching that you still find yourself thinking about every now again? That you were a fan of despite of their ineptitude?

Adam Ferrara: Hardly irrelevant and certainly not inept, but I do think about a little known defensive tackle for the New York Jets, #77 Carl Barzilauskas. He played from 1974 to 1977 for the Jets and was then traded to Green Bay in 78-79. When I was a kid my dad gave me a NY Jets football uniform and the jersey was #77. From that day on Carl was my guy.

The CT : You’re a New York guy, Dennis Leary is a Boston guy. I’m assuming you both fought each other numerous times in 2008 on the set of Rescue Me prior, during and after Super Bowl XLIII. Who talked the most shit?

Adam Ferrara: Both of us. No more than usual.

The CT : You’re playing at the Helium Comedy club from Thursday, Feb. 19 to Sunday, Feb. 22. You’ve played Philly before, how do the crowds treat you here? Any interesting stage stories during a performance here?

Adam Ferrara: Nothing from onstage but when you play Philly you always have to bring your A-game. Don’t take any chances, you guys threw snowballs at Santa Claus.

The CT : Last question, because this is a Philadelphia sports blog, what was more painful, the recent 76ers/Knicks game (which was an affront to all that is holy) or the Mets collapse in 2007?

Adam Ferrara: The Mets. I’m a Mets fan, Mets and Jets because why should my life be easy.

 

 

 

Best/Worst of the 76ers vs. New York Knicks

76ers logoThe Philadelphia 76ers fell to the Knicks last night, 98-91, in something that “technically” was defined as a basketball game, but onlookers couldn’t confirm. The two basement dwelling teams of the Eastern Conference entertained dozens and dozens of fans at the Wells Fargo Center.

Here were the best and worst aspects of the game for each team.

Best:

– Nerlens Noel, not participating in the game due to an upper respiratory illness, had his best plus/minus point differential of the season with a 0, up from his season average of -35.

– Robert Covington successfully attempted a left handed layup, something he had been practicing all week.

– All fans received 50% off a large Papa Johns Pizza following the game, due to the 76ers scoring over 45 points.

– To the delight of everyone in attendance, former mascot Hip Hop was brought back for one night only and drawn and quartered at halftime.

– Carmelo Anthony of the New York Knicks intelligently shook off his recent injury knee injury to play in a pivotal early season match up between a 7-36 team and an 8-34 team.

Worst:

– For the 10th game in a row, Furkan Aldemir menacingly brandished a scimitar at a Wells Fargo vendor for not providing him a jug of fermented ox blood during a first quarter timeout.

– 76ers public announcer Matt Cord continues to provide play-by-play action over the Wells Fargo PA system during each game.

– 76ers great Moses Malone was introduced as a special guest before tip-off, and walked out onto the court while flipping off the crowd with both hands.

– Fans were subjected to watching the 76ers for the 20th home game in a row.