Terry Collins

Who thinks Terry Collins should have brought in Zach Britton last night?

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Should have brought in Britton.

Let’s all be honest here. We all saw what happened to the Mets last night. They Metted up the place and blew the Wild Card play in game. I just have one, simple question for everyone…

Who here thinks Terry Collins should have brought in Zach Britton instead of Jeurys Familia?

It’s perfectly alright. Come on, come on, don’t dawdle. Raise your hands up in the air, don’t be shy. No need to be embarrassed. Who here thinks it would have been a great move for Collins to bring in Britton?

Let’s look to Twitter, shall we? Twitter has all the answers.

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Bartolo Colon ejected for suspiciously delicious foreign substance on arm during yesterday’s start

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Bartolo eats because he is unhappy, and unhappy because he eats. It’s a vicious cycle.

New York, NY – Bartolo Colon, starting pitcher for the New York Mets, was ejected from his start after Philadelphia Phillies manager Ryne Sandberg alerted home plate umpire Larry Vanover to a strange substance on the pitchers forearm.

Upon closer inspection, Vanover found the substance was blue cheese dressing. He was able to confirm the substance’s presence even though Colon frantically tried to lick the condiment off of his forearm before the umpire could reach the pitcher’s mound.

Through a brief search, Vanover also found several buffalo wings stowed away under Colon’s cap. As he left the field, several pieces of celery fell from his pockets and a number of wet naps could be seen sticking out of the back pocket of his uniform.

A closeup of the embattled and rotund pitcher showed his face was smeared with hot sauceĀ and several pieces of chicken were stuck in the folds of his neck fat.

“Frankly, there’s no place for it in baseball. We fully expect Bartolo to be suspended and we will be sending him to an emergency Weight Watchers meeting as soon as possible,” New York Mets manager Terry Collins told the media after the game was concluded.

Colon was not available to take media questions after the game, as he said he had some pressing matters to attend to at the clubhouse buffet