A Festivus Airing of Grievances to our dear readers

he05wkmI’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE, AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT. YOU, KRUGER, MY SON TELLS ME YOUR COMPANY STINK! – Frank Costanza.

 

Merry Festivus to all of our readers! What a day. I’ve already challenged my nine-month-old son to the feats of strength. He shit himself and rolled over, so I guess he showed me.

I’ve already screamed my grievances at my wife and family members this morning, so I figured I’d turn my attention to you, the dear readers. You all stink and it’s a Festivus miracle I’ve been able to put up with your nonsense for the past year.

Here are some of the dumbest tweets we’ve gotten in 2016 from our “fans.”

Look at this guy. Didn’t even get my spot on Kingpin reference I made later about the Bible not forgiving people. There is no God, Ben, so jump on the Coggin Toboggan train and lets take the swift decline into the firey pits of hell. ROOM FOR ONE MORE.

The UFC sucks, you know it and I know it, Luke. Ditch that loser sport and watch professional wrestling like a real man.

God damnit, Ricky. We reach out to you, offer an olive branch and extend an invitation to come to our HOME and you cast us aside. You sucked on the Phillies you GOON.

HOW DARE YOU. Nothing is ever Sam Hinkie’s fault.

The Bofa contracts, Terrell. BOFA DEEZ NUTTSSSSSSSSSS.

Still stand by my assessment of the Lupica Brothers garbage show, but damn did they cut close to me here. YOU DON’T KNOW MY FATHER, DON’T EVER SPEAK ABOUT HIM TO ME.

You come at the king, Ferrier, you best not miss. We’re still here, we’re still standing, where are you? STILL AS SUCCESSFUL AS EVER AND BRING IN MILLIONS IN AD REVENUES. Enjoy your horrible life.

And now, the greatest tweet we received this year that we need to speak about….

Fuckkkkkkkk you, Keith Law. Who are you to call a HILARIOUS Joe Paterno article tasteless. You know what? YOU’RE TASTELESS (got him!)

Can’t wait to see what 2017 will bring. Have a great Holiday Season, everyone!

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