And that miracle is that we’re publishing our annual Festivus column TWO DAYS EARLY! In the words of Frank Costanza, I’VE GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE AND NOW YOU’RE GOING TO HEAR ABOUT IT!
Festivus, as we all know, is where we gather our good friends and family together for a dinner, an entertaining feat of strength, and the ever popular Airing of Grievances.
What is the Airing of Grievances? I weep for you.
Frank Costanza: At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year!
Why, the Airing of Grievances is your once chance a year to scream your disappointments to the heavens and not be judged for them.
But I am a lazy man, and I run a lazy, lazy blog. So that’s why I decided to farm out my work to the suckers (fans) that actually read the nonsense I spew all over this site. It’s the American way…when something is too daunting and too much work, you simply find the losers who will do the work for you and reward them with a mere pittance for their efforts.
LOVE YOU GUYS.
Let’s see the best grievances we received this year after the jump.