I’ll admit it, I’ve hit a wall. HIT IT. After more than 15 straight months of being the only writer on this stupid website, I’m running on empty.
So I’ll be taking a few days off for vacation (aka heroin rehab).
Luckily, several Philadelphia media personalities (and maybe even a few special guests!) we’ve written about in the past have agreed to step in, pick up the slack and write us some guest columns. It’s really nice of them to donate their time to us after we’ve mocked them in the past.
(They really haven’t, but if you can’t pick up on that you’re a moron)
We’ve given them carte blanche to write about anything they want, so please enjoy.
Up first, Marcus Hayes of the Daily News.
Can someone please tell me what this website is actually about? Why I even agreed to help them out?
I mean, really, why did I agree to write something for this site after I blocked them from my Twitter feed months ago?
It’s a fake website that makes fun of me for being a fat mess.
And for the record, Chase Utley never took me out in the Phillies clubhouse with a slide to the back of my knees.
It wasn’t true. But did people care?
Of course not. People sent me that article on Twitter so much that I ate a whole wheel of American Cheese in one sitting.
It was uncomfortable. I had the curd sweats for days.
Not fun, not fun at all.
Also, do I sweat as much as this site likes to make fun of me for? I do not.
I may have a glandular problem and run through undershirts like nobodies business, even in the winter, but I don’t think that’s something to make fun of someone for.
It’s troubling…
It.
Really.
Is.
This blog gives the city a bad name and hopefully the owner will tire of his little venture and stop bothering me with fake articles about how I’m a fat, sweaty pig.
You can all go to hell.
Philadelphia, PA – Adding further credence to Chip Kelly’s claims that he and Howie Roseman did not directly speak at all last season, a leaked report has shown the NFL front office originally denied an approved contract between the Eagles and recently released running back DeMarco Murray.
Philadelphia, PA – With no NCAA tournament games scheduled for Monday, and during intermission between the first and second period of a pivotal Flyers game against the New York Islanders, the overwhelming majority of Philadelphia sports fan expressed their surprise that the Philadelphia 76ers 2015-2016 season had not yet concluded.
Brooklyn, NY – Several eyewitness reports have confirmed that Temple University Head Coach Fran Dunphy has been chopping wood in Central Park since 2 a.m.
You woke up this morning at 8:20 a.m., all psyched to watch the games, but the unfortunate news is that your NCAA tournament bracket, the one you spent hours researching and getting just right, has somehow already been busted.
The Coggin Toboggan 