Philadelphia Flyers

With Jori Lehtera allegedly a cocaine kingpin, Gritty suddenly makes much more sense

If you didn’t see the news this morning, everyone’s favorite under performing fourth line center and Dave Hakstol darling Jori Lehtera is being investigated by Finnish authorities for his alleged role in a massive cocaine ring.

According to the article, Lehtera’s lakeside cottage was raided this summer by Finnish authorities for its possible connection to a cocaine ring. It’s unclear from the article (which is in Finnish) if any cocaine was found in the cottage. I assume cocaine usually isn’t found in Finnish lakeside cottages, unlike the various gnomes, sprites and elves that dot the region.

Lehtera had all of 8 points in 62(!) games for the Flyers last season and he looked slow as shit all year, so he obviously was not getting high off his own supply.

But, with the franchise possibly being awash in some fine Finnish yak, the presence of Gritty suddenly makes so much more sense.

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Who will make our Eagles picks this week?

Editor’s note: I really thought we gave up on this column? It’s evident I suck at it. Sure, we all get to have a few cheap laughs at someone’s expense, but holy shit am I awful at making these picks. If you are actually using them to make gambling decisions than you have a big, big problem. I’ll just lose you money. Don’t listen to me on anything ever. That being said….

OHHHHHH MY WHAT A DAY! The Eagles (5-7) are taking on the hated Washington Redskins (6-5-1) and their slightly better than average quarterback Kirk Cousins. YOU LIKE THAT? HUH? THAT’S RIGHT.

This week I 100% GUARANTEE TO MAKE YOU MONEY WITH OUR PICK. We have a great guest picker coming in, someone who really knows his stuff.

The Eagles are currently 1-point underdogs in their matchup. But who will make our picks this week?

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Carl Lindros delivers stirring Hall of Fame acceptance speech for son
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Carl Lindros’s son.

Carl Lindros, father of one of the newest members of the Hockey Hall of Fame, Eric Lindros, accepted the induction and delivered a speech on behalf of his son, despite Eric being healthy and present at the induction ceremony.

Carl beamed at the podium as he thanked the assembled crowd for the great honor.

“I’ve worked so hard to go where I am. This is just a culmination of the years of blood, sweat and tears that I’ve put into my son,” Lindros said, wiping tears away from his eyes as Eric looked on from the side stage.

“I did it. I can’t believe it, but I’ve finally reached the pinnacle,” he said.

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Classic overreaction on its way…

tumblr_mou8y9bxwc1sqwnloo1_500Well that’s it. It was fun while it lasted. Carson Wentz is officially a bust and the Eagles are a bunch of frauds. Sure they’re 3-2, but they’ll probably lose out for the rest of the season and finish 3-13. WE’RE BACK TO THE DARK DAYS, PEOPLE. Get down on your knees and pray to the God of your choice, because nothing is going to help us now.

I’m not in Philadelphia, but I’m sure Angelo Cataldi has already had multiple on air heart attacks and a debilitating stroke about the Eagles loss. Did he try and blame Malcolm Jenkins for DARING to raise his hand during the National Anthem a few weeks ago? I’m sure he did.

It’s all over people. It was a good few weeks wasn’t it? We were all feeling great about the Eagles, feeling our oats, crowing about our franchise QB….now we lose to a team with a racist name who didn’t even have their best player on offense.

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Flyers head coach Dave Hakstol pros and cons

051915_hakstol-dave_600Second year head coach Dave Hakstol is looking to improve upon a successful, inaugural season behind the Flyers bench.

But what can be expected of the second year coach? What are the pros and cons of the man who only has one year of experience?

The Coggin Toboggan is going to delve into what Dave Hakstol brings to the table and what the coach can improve upon in the 2016-2017 season.

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Carl Lindros to ‘make a few calls’ to Hall of Fame selection committee on behalf of son
Eric Lindros

Will this be the year Eric Lindros is elected to the NHL Hall of Fame? His father plans on it.

Toronto, Canada  – Carl Lindros, father and former agent to Eric Lindros, told his son Monday that he would “reach out” to several members of the NHL Hall of Fame Committee and “pull a few strings” to ensure Eric received his hall of fame nomination this year.

Lindros, the supremely talented center who spent the majority of his career with the Philadelphia Flyers, racked up 865 points over 760 regular season games and led the Flyers to a Stanley Cup Championship in 1997. He won the NHL’s Hart Trophy in 1995 as the league’s most valuable player, but may be remembered more for injuries derailing his career and for having two perceived “meddling” parents who steered the career of their talented boy. He also never won a Stanley Cup, which many cite as a big knock against his resume for the Hall of Fame.

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Dave Hakstol’s wife alarmed by husband’s appearance after playoff loss
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This guy is an absolute mess.

Philadelphia, PA – A day after the Philadelphia Flyers succumbed to the Washington Capitals in the first round of the playoffs, Erinn Hakstol, wife of Flyers head coach Dave Hakstol, cited concern for her husband’s well-being after seeing his disheveled appearance at the Hakstol’s breakfast nook.

“Dave is normally so chipper in the morning, usually giving me a stoic ‘greetings’ when he sees me. Today he just dove right into his Wall Street Journal and didn’t even give me a rundown of his portfolio or make that dividends joke he has made each day for the past 13 years. I’m worried,” Erinn said.

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Donald Trump: “Ed Snider was a loser and I will make the Flyers great again”

donald-trumpPhiladelphia, PA – Donald Trump, a Republican candidate for the presidential nomination, held a competing memorial for Ed Snider in the Wells Fargo Center parking lot after he learned Snider’s will specifically banned him from any Flyers events for the rest of his life.

The blustering blow hard, speaking in front of an assembled group of mouth breathers and malcontents, denied that he had been kicked out of Snider’s suite during a playoff game for speaking too much during the action.

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Flyers already regretting planned game 4 handout for fans
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A member of the Philadelphia Flyers ice crew cleans up wristbands thrown on the ice during the game 3 loss.

Philadelphia, PA – Following several incidents during game 3 where fans threw pre-game giveaway bracelets onto the ice, Flyers front office representatives are re-thinking their decision to hand out Ed Snider commemorative paperweights to each fan attending game 4 of the NHL playoff matchup against the Washington Capitals.

The solid glass paper weight, which features a picture of the beloved owner Ed Snider, weighs approximately 10 pounds.

“Maybe we didn’t think this through. These are kind of heavy, aren’t they? Pretty solid. And the corners cut into these? They could do so some serious, serious damage,” said Joe Heller, senior director of marketing for the Flyers.

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Ed Snider, too cool for this world
Ed

Photo Credit to Comcast Spectacor.

As everyone has surely seen by now, Ed Snider, long time owner of the Philadelphia Flyers and a previous owner of the 76ers, passed away today after a two-year battle with cancer.

Not too much we can offer to the conversation that hasn’t already been said, but Snider was the MAN. Just loved his Flyers, tolerated his Sixers, and never knew a draft pick he wouldn’t trade at the deadline to bring in some world class talent.

Just look at that picture to the left. Sweet double-finger point, slicked back hair, awesome pin striped suit. You have to respect it.

He stood up to the USSR in the 70s. Who does that? Ed Snider does that.

Just a quick anecdote about Snider. My brothers and I used to sit in a suite for a few games each year that was directly next to Snider’s personal suite. You could tell he didn’t want to speak with ANYONE during the games. If any well-wishers or family members came up to him during play, he just straight up ignored any attempt at conversation. You could almost see the veins pulsating in his head as some young grandkid or long removed great nephew tried to DARE speak to him when the Flyers were on a Peco Power Play.

It made the games more nerve wracking to be next to Snider, because you’d look over and he’d be living and dying with each shot. Just tense the entire match-up, ignoring all of his family members around him and most likely gritting his teeth as he listened to the jackasses bitching and whining throughout the crowd after ever poor play, trying to identify their voices so he could have security rough them up in a back room during a TV timeout.

He had his own personal television installed in front of his seat, binoculars and a land line phone that he would pick up every so often and have secret discussions on. Who was he talking too?! The head coach? Claude Giroux? THE PRESIDENT?!

He was probably just ordering snacks, but it was still awesome.

Ed, you will be missed. Easily the most dedicated and passionate owner in the city.

You knew what the fans wanted in this city and you tried to give it to them every season, and that’s more than any other owner in this city can say.