Well that’s it. It was fun while it lasted. Carson Wentz is officially a bust and the Eagles are a bunch of frauds. Sure they’re 3-2, but they’ll probably lose out for the rest of the season and finish 3-13. WE’RE BACK TO THE DARK DAYS, PEOPLE. Get down on your knees and pray to the God of your choice, because nothing is going to help us now.

I’m not in Philadelphia, but I’m sure Angelo Cataldi has already had multiple on air heart attacks and a debilitating stroke about the Eagles loss. Did he try and blame Malcolm Jenkins for DARING to raise his hand during the National Anthem a few weeks ago? I’m sure he did.

It’s all over people. It was a good few weeks wasn’t it? We were all feeling great about the Eagles, feeling our oats, crowing about our franchise QB….now we lose to a team with a racist name who didn’t even have their best player on offense.

Why stop there? The 76ers look terrible. Do you really think Joel Embiid is going to keep this up all year long? Young guys with multiple foot surgeries always flourish in rigorous, 82-game seasons after having not played competitive basketball for the past three years. FOOLPROOF. Ben Simmons is already playing his way out of town and Nerlens Noel has been faking an injury in an attempt to get traded.

Real smart, Nerlens. Lots of teams want to trade for an injured, malcontent center that has absolutely no offensive game. Can’t wait to see Bryan Colangelo fumble his way through this one. He’ll either trade Noel for a second round draft pick to the Celtics or will ACCIDENTALLY trade Jahlil Okafor away in a wacky set of circumstances. Oh Bryan, you are such a piece of shit.

Really think the Flyers are going to continue their hot start to the season? QUICK, who is our number one goalie? Oh you don’t know? You mean to tell me that again, for the 900th season in a row, the Flyers have a goalie controversy? Maybe they should just convince Robert Esche to come out of retirement…that’s the ticket.

The Phillies are garbage and always will be. THE CURSE OF CHASE UTLEY LIVES ON. We dared to anger the man that brought us into a new, enlightened age, casting him off to the West Coast, and now the Phillies are cast back down into purgatory. Are they rebuilding? What are they doing exactly? All I know is they’ll probably win 62 games next year.

HAVE A NICE DAY.