I’m sick of dunderheaded Bryan Colangelo face fucking his way through the 2016-2017 76ers season. Everything that’s good about this year (Embiid, Saric….ummm….that’s about it) has been due to previous GM Sam Hinkie and everything awful about this year (Gerald Henderson, the Noel disaster, the slippery floor, the announcement coming in the next few weeks that Ben Simmons won’t play this year, Jahlil Okafor, the Eagles poor season, the Flyers Shea Weber trade falling through) has been because of shit dick Colangelo and his father’s withered old man balls resting on his son’s shoulders as a constant reminder of his presence.
Also, apropos of nothing, why don’t you spell your name with an “I” like a regular person? God you suck.
Sam Hinkie had The Process, which netted this team a glut of lottery picks, a potential franchise changing player in Embiid and another first round pick next year from the Lakers.
Bryan Colangelo has, what we’ve dubbed at the Toboggan, The Procedure, which has netted us nothing but high blood pressure and increased chances of having a stroke in the next 10 years.
What is The Procedure, you ask? Well, why don’t we explain it using tweets from Colangelo’s meeting with the media today, shall we?
Philadelphia, PA – With no NCAA tournament games scheduled for Monday, and during intermission between the first and second period of a pivotal Flyers game against the New York Islanders, the overwhelming majority of Philadelphia sports fan expressed their surprise that the Philadelphia 76ers 2015-2016 season had not yet concluded.
THE QUESTION is answered before it’s fully asked.
Philadelphia, PA – For the third Valentine’s Day in a row, 76ers center Nerlens Noel turned down Valentine’s Day plans with his teammates to take out his “smoking hot girlfriend from Quebec” for a romantic night out.
Every so often, the CT will check in with 76ers sensation Nerlens Noel and his signature hi-top fade haircut to get his take on the season so far. We at CT take no responsibility for the opinions of the hi-top or his world views. On to today’s edition:
Well it’s Christmas. While most of you are opening presents around the tree and roasting chestnuts on an open fire, take a minute to think about those of us who may not have chestnuts and have taken to eating wet walnuts under a bridge in South Jersey somewhere.
Philadelphia, PA – 76ers staff and executive had to forcibly break the door down of Sam Hinkie’s office Thursday evening, as the general manager reportedly tried to trade several members of the current roster for next to nothing.
Philadelphia, PA – Despite losing their 12th game in a row to open the 2015-2016 NBA season, morale in the 76ers locker room remained high after Brett Brown informed the team they would indeed be allowed to keep their jerseys after the season ended.
The Coggin Toboggan 