Nerlens Noel takes Canadian girlfriend out for third Valentine’s Day in a row

NBA: Boston Celtics at Philadelphia 76ersPhiladelphia, PA – For the third Valentine’s Day in a row, 76ers center Nerlens Noel turned down Valentine’s Day plans with his teammates to take out his “smoking hot girlfriend from Quebec” for a romantic night out.

Noel said he and “Suzie” had dinner reservations at Fork in Old City for 7 p.m. and then would likely retire to his Philadelphia apartment for a “serious make-out sesh.”

“Suzie and I are totally going to make out all night long, and I’ll probably even get under her shirt for some second-base action,” Noel was overheard mentioning to rookies TJ McConnell and Jahlil Okafor.

“She’s a model up in Canada, she was working on a photo shoot up in Regina. Some bikini shoot for Victoria’s Secret. Her boobs are HUGE man.”

Despite taking her out for Valentine’s Day for the third year in a row, no teammate has ever been introduced to Suzie.

Robert Covington mentioned Noel has shown him several photos of Suzie, and once received a phone call from a Philadelphia area code from a woman named Suzie who was looking for Noel, but sounded suspiciously like a male putting on a female voice.

“Yeah I don’t know. Nobody has ever seen her, even when we go up to play the Raptors. You’d think he would brought her down for a weekend or something, but she’s always busy. Something is fishy,” Covington said.

At press time, reports have come in claiming Noel was spotted in a South Philadelphia diner at 7:30 p.m. eating waffles by himself.

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