Just sit back and enjoy each 76ers loss, the most entertaining team in the city

76ers logoI’ve watched 16 minutes of the first period of the Flyers game against the Edmonton Oilers, who are 4-8, and have outshot the Flyers by 16-2 so far.

The Eagles are so bad this season the fan base practically begged the Eagles to seriously consider parting ways with draft picks to trade for Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick was benched this week in favor of backup QB Blaine Gabbert, the very same Blaine Gabbert who has thrown more interceptions in his professional career than touchdowns.

They want him to replace Sam Bradford. Bradford has the longest sleeves in the NFL. That’s the only positive you can mention about him this season.

It’s going to be a shitty winter. Perhaps Phil Connors said it best, “I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.”

Upon writing this last sentence, Flyers defenseman Brandon Manning was whistled for a penalty, and then before the Flyers could gain possession of the puck he was called for another penalty. Two separate penalties in the span of 15 seconds on the same player. Of course the Oilers scored with four seconds left in the period before the first penalty was even expired to go down 0-1 against the Oilers. Did I mention they are 4-8?

Sigh.

One ray of sunshine in a bleak winter? One pile of pure, gorgeous snow in a parking lot filled with gravel and piss covered gray snow mounds? Ladies and gentlemen, your Philadelphia 76ers.

Yes, the 76ers, who are 0-3 on the season and are currently a turnstile for a host of NBA has beens and never will be’s.

But each time you look at that record, each loss you see night in and night out, just think of Jahlil Okafor, stud 19-year-old center, deftly driving around cement footed NBA centers for easy layups. Spotting up at the top of the key and making jump shot after jump shot as befuddled defenders can’t decide whether to challenge him or hang back in case he decides to drive.

Forget about Chip Kelly refusing to change his game plan and then blaming his players for not executing. Instead, just sit back and smile whenever Nerlens Noel adds someone to his Twitter Block List, or flashes into the paint for a breathtaking put-back slam or sneaky good jump hook.

Forget about the Flyers wasting the prime of Claude Giroux when they don’t have the cap space to surround him with more than one lines worth of NHL talent. Instead, just keep up with Dario Saric’s European play with the stellar updates over at Liberty Ballers. It will be more entertaining than seeing the Flyers lose 4-1 night in and night out.

Don’t waste your time with the Flyers and the Eagles. The 76ers are where it’s at. ALL OF THESE TEAMS ARE GOING TO LOSE….you might as well have fun watching a team that has a bright future with players who actually look like they give a shit on the court.

And hell, if Joel Embiid can get healthy and get his shit together….well, let’s not go too crazy just yet.

(and yes, I am aware I wrote a similar article on the 76ers last year and then Sam Hinkie traded away all of the players I found entertaining. No way he trades away Nerlens Noel and Jahlil Okafor……….right?)

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2 comments

  1. ” …players who actually look like they give a shit on the court”???

    You’re obviously watching a different team than the one I’ve largely avoided for the past several years. If you think that collection of human flotsam is in any way, shape or form entertaining — well, all aboard the crazy train. The NBA is a tedious exercise in up-and-down, back-and-forth during the best of times, and with a team as wretched as the Sixers it is simply unwatchable. I’d rather venture into the subterranean depths of NBCSN and pretend to care about the English Premier League.

    And as for that “stud 19-year-old center, deftly driving around cement footed NBA centers for easy layups,” just wait until he gets a steady dose of NBA double- or triple-teams when the rest of the league figures out his team has no other legitimate scoring options. He’ll be ground down to a nub by the All Star break.

    I don’t care how mediocre the Flyers and Eagles may be at the moment — I’ll still root for them and enjoy the vastly superior sports of hockey and football. You can continue to “trust the process” with the other 1,200 or so wretches who actually pay to watch our sorry excuse for a professional basketball team.

    Sam Hinkie loves you the way the GOP loves working-class stiffs who vote Republican.

    Liked by 1 person

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