Flyers

Dave Hakstol’s wife alarmed by husband’s appearance after playoff loss

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This guy is an absolute mess.

Philadelphia, PA – A day after the Philadelphia Flyers succumbed to the Washington Capitals in the first round of the playoffs, Erinn Hakstol, wife of Flyers head coach Dave Hakstol, cited concern for her husband’s well-being after seeing his disheveled appearance at the Hakstol’s breakfast nook.

“Dave is normally so chipper in the morning, usually giving me a stoic ‘greetings’ when he sees me. Today he just dove right into his Wall Street Journal and didn’t even give me a rundown of his portfolio or make that dividends joke he has made each day for the past 13 years. I’m worried,” Erinn said.

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Donald Trump: “Ed Snider was a loser and I will make the Flyers great again”

donald-trumpPhiladelphia, PA – Donald Trump, a Republican candidate for the presidential nomination, held a competing memorial for Ed Snider in the Wells Fargo Center parking lot after he learned Snider’s will specifically banned him from any Flyers events for the rest of his life.

The blustering blow hard, speaking in front of an assembled group of mouth breathers and malcontents, denied that he had been kicked out of Snider’s suite during a playoff game for speaking too much during the action.

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Flyers already regretting planned game 4 handout for fans

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A member of the Philadelphia Flyers ice crew cleans up wristbands thrown on the ice during the game 3 loss.

Philadelphia, PA – Following several incidents during game 3 where fans threw pre-game giveaway bracelets onto the ice, Flyers front office representatives are re-thinking their decision to hand out Ed Snider commemorative paperweights to each fan attending game 4 of the NHL playoff matchup against the Washington Capitals.

The solid glass paper weight, which features a picture of the beloved owner Ed Snider, weighs approximately 10 pounds.

“Maybe we didn’t think this through. These are kind of heavy, aren’t they? Pretty solid. And the corners cut into these? They could do so some serious, serious damage,” said Joe Heller, senior director of marketing for the Flyers.

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In Soviet Russia, playoffs choke you!

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NHL analyst Yakov Smirnoff.

This is why I come to America in the 1980s, for the two glorious months where large men fight one another with sticks on the frozen ponds. In Soviet Russia, we call this a marriage ceremony. America, what a country!

Much like the Alexander of Ovechkin, I came to America in search of a better life and to make jokes about what a horrible place Russia was to live. In America you play hockey with a frozen ball of rubber, but in Soviet Russia you played hocked with a hand grenade. Sudden death overtime had entirely different meaning.

Heh heh heh heh!

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Ed Snider, too cool for this world

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Photo Credit to Comcast Spectacor.

As everyone has surely seen by now, Ed Snider, long time owner of the Philadelphia Flyers and a previous owner of the 76ers, passed away today after a two-year battle with cancer.

Not too much we can offer to the conversation that hasn’t already been said, but Snider was the MAN. Just loved his Flyers, tolerated his Sixers, and never knew a draft pick he wouldn’t trade at the deadline to bring in some world class talent.

Just look at that picture to the left. Sweet double-finger point, slicked back hair, awesome pin striped suit. You have to respect it.

He stood up to the USSR in the 70s. Who does that? Ed Snider does that.

Just a quick anecdote about Snider. My brothers and I used to sit in a suite for a few games each year that was directly next to Snider’s personal suite. You could tell he didn’t want to speak with ANYONE during the games. If any well-wishers or family members came up to him during play, he just straight up ignored any attempt at conversation. You could almost see the veins pulsating in his head as some young grandkid or long removed great nephew tried to DARE speak to him when the Flyers were on a Peco Power Play.

It made the games more nerve wracking to be next to Snider, because you’d look over and he’d be living and dying with each shot. Just tense the entire match-up, ignoring all of his family members around him and most likely gritting his teeth as he listened to the jackasses bitching and whining throughout the crowd after ever poor play, trying to identify their voices so he could have security rough them up in a back room during a TV timeout.

He had his own personal television installed in front of his seat, binoculars and a land line phone that he would pick up every so often and have secret discussions on. Who was he talking too?! The head coach? Claude Giroux? THE PRESIDENT?!

He was probably just ordering snacks, but it was still awesome.

Ed, you will be missed. Easily the most dedicated and passionate owner in the city.

You knew what the fans wanted in this city and you tried to give it to them every season, and that’s more than any other owner in this city can say.

 

 

What does Doug Pederson’s head look like?

dougie-pWe struggled to figure out what to write on the blog today. Another post about Villanova? No thanks. Something about the Flyers and their march to the playoffs? Nah. The 76ers winning their 10th game of the season? The 25 remaining Sixers fans in this city would be annoyed and go to Facebook to complain.

So we really decided to dig deep and flex our journalistic muscle. We want to make a difference and write posts that people in this city will read and think about for the rest of their day.

So, here is a complete list of things we think Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson’s weird head looks like.

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Report: Claude Giroux really going at that punching bag

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God he is PISSED.

Philadelphia, PA – Teammates practicing at the Flyers Skate Zone yesterday were tipped off to Claude Giroux’s snub from Team Canada for the upcoming World Cup of Hockey as they were greeted by the captain “really going to town” on the punching bag set up in the facility’s fitness center.

Several were surprised to see Giroux reportedly “wailing” on the piece of exercise equipment before the scheduled practice.

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