Anthony Gargano

Anthony Gargano reportedly struggling to craft perfect love letter
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The lovelorn Gargano is struggling to wrangle his romantic thoughts to the page.

Philadelphia, PA – Gingerly rubbing the temples of his head with his sausage-like fingers, 97.5 the Fanatic Morning Show host Anthony Gargano reported Monday that he had not slept at all the night prior, his mind bursting forth with tenderness and love.

However, the transfer of his beautiful prose and thoughts of fancy from his mind to paper had proved fruitless, as the uncultured mamaluke struggled to craft the perfect love letter to Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz, who is 2-0 on the season and proving to be “the real deal.”

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Jon Marks leaving 97.5 the Fanatic, launching website to help workplace bullying victims
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Jon Marks is leaving 97.5 FM for a new career opportunity.

Philadelphia, PA – Sources have confirmed that Jon Marks, a co-host and producer of the morning show at 97.5 the Fanatic, will be leaving the show and the sports talk station when his contract expires on Oct. 20.

Marks will finish out his contract and will remain on air until October.

However, Marks has already announced his next project, as he’ll launch a website dedicated to helping employees who have problems with bullies at their place of business.

“We really want to help those who face bullying day in and day out at their own jobs. Nobody should have to face bullying on a daily basis, especially those of us who are of middle aged and realize this isn’t high school anymore,” Marks said.

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Congratulations to Angelo Cataldi for completing the 1 millionth flip-flop of his career!

060512-Angelo-Cataldi-400What a day to be alive in Philadelphia. It’s not hot, the Eagles are merely days away from opening their 2016-2017 season, and one of the most decorated broadcasters in the city’s history reached an impressive milestone in his career over the Labor Day Weekend.

Vaunted waffler Angelo Cataldi, co-host of the 94 WIP Morning Show, successfully flip-flopped on yet another opinion after Sam Bradford was traded to the Minnesota Vikings this weekend.

It’s the 1 millionth flip-flop of Cataldi’s career. He joins noted wafflers Howard Eskin, Ike Reese, and Anthony Gargano to reach this pinnacle of broadcasting success in Philadelphia.

The countdown for his career milestone began on April 25, when record keepers noted Cataldi notched his 999,999th flip-flop when he threatened to drive Sam Bradford to the airport himself, and then three days later tweeted the Eagles shouldn’t trade the young quarterback.

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Howard Eskin: Well well well, look who came crawling back
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Special guest columnist Howard Eskin.

By Howard “The King” Eskin – Well well well. Look who it is. If it isn’t my old friends over at 94 WIP. Whatever could you be doing here, at the Eskin compound, on this fine Thursday morning?

What’s that you say? You have a proposition that you’d like to run by me? Well hold on just a second, because as I recall almost five years ago you pushed me out of my afternoon drive show to make room for some nobody.

I had to watch as that fat stunad Anthony Gargano first unraveled the hard work I put into that 3 to 7 p.m. time slot, watching him slobber all over that microphone. It was enough to turn my stomach.

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Pardon My Take says Sam Bradford’s name three times, summons Anthony Gargano to show
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The lover of incredible meats.

Philadelphia, PA – After levying several shots against Big Cat and PFT Commenter for their recent GQ feature, the Pardon My Take podcast hosts summoned Fanatic Morning Show Host Anthony Gargano to their studio (apartment) after saying Sam Bradford’s name three times into their bathroom mirror.

Gargano spent the good portion of a segment this morning wondering why GQ Magazine would publish a feature on the popular podcast hosts and chastising his producer for “fawning all over Big Cat” when he met him in person.

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Tragedy strikes 97.5 Morning Show’s Meat Locker segment

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Philadelphia, PA – Tragedy befell the popular 97.5 FM Morning Show’s Meat Locker segment this morning, as host Anthony Gargano and special guest former Philadelphia Phillie Kevin Sefcik were accidentally locked in the sub zero studio and suffered varying degrees of hypothermia.

The popular segment, which sees Gargano and the 97.5 Morning Crew interview a former Philadelphia athlete from the past, is actually held in a real meat locker cooled down to -5 degrees Fahrenheit.

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Anthony Gargano to change Eagles win/loss prediction roughly 5,000 times before season begins

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Philadelphia, PA – The members of the 97.5 FM Morning Show team offered listeners their predictions for the Eagles 2016-2017 season record a day after the team schedules were announced.

Host Anthony Gargano predicted the Eagles would finish their season at a record of 7-9, but announced his decision to change his prediction roughly 5,000 times before the season actually begins this September.

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Larry Brown predicts Villanova victory on 97.5 Morning Show from beyond the grave
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Larry Brown looking to be in fine fettle.

A decrepit Larry Brown hoisted his living corpse from his eternal slumber to call into the 97.5 FM Morning Show and predict a Villanova victory in the NCAA championship match up against UNC.

The SMU coach cackled into his telephone as he provided his analysis of the championship game to host Anthony Gargano.

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I guess I’m officially a runner now

giphyIn Logan’s Run, a 1976 sci-fi movie starring Michael York, in the futuristic year of 2274 those who reach the age of 30 are hunted down and vaporized. Each citizen is implanted with a “Life Clock” that blinks red when they turn 30, notifying the “Sandmen” who hunt down the “Runners if they do not give up quietly.

My Life Clock went off this weekend after watching the NBA All-Star festivities. I guess I’m a runner now.

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BREAKING NEWS: Frank ‘The Animal’ Bialowas takes over 97.5 Morning Show by force
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Frank “The Animal” Bialowas, in happier times.

The 97.5 Fanatic offices are currently in a complete lockdown, as Frank “The Animal” Bialowas has taken over the Morning Show after ruthlessly beating host Anthony Gargano and humiliating co-host Jon Marks after the mid-90s Phantoms goon took offense to a comment made on-air during his appearance.

Bialowas’s appearance started off amiably, with Gargano tossing him several softball questions about his playing days and queries about “if he was a true lover of incredible meats or Anthony’s Coal Fire Pizza.”

The interview, however, took an ugly turn after Gargano brought up a rumor that has dogged Bialowas since his playing days.

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