Howard Eskin: Well well well, look who came crawling back

EskinNBC10

Special guest columnist Howard Eskin.

By Howard “The King” Eskin – Well well well. Look who it is. If it isn’t my old friends over at 94 WIP. Whatever could you be doing here, at the Eskin compound, on this fine Thursday morning?

What’s that you say? You have a proposition that you’d like to run by me? Well hold on just a second, because as I recall almost five years ago you pushed me out of my afternoon drive show to make room for some nobody.

I had to watch as that fat stunad Anthony Gargano first unraveled the hard work I put into that 3 to 7 p.m. time slot, watching him slobber all over that microphone. It was enough to turn my stomach.

Oh sure, you let me spin it that I was “leaving” the station on my own accord, but anyone with half a brain knew that wasn’t true. You were just paving the way for fat boy Josh Innes to take over. How’s he working out, by the way?

So I had to sit by the wayside for years, stewing in a back booth at Ponzios Diner in Cherry Hill, toiling away doing weekend morning shifts with the likes of Rob Cherry and Rhea Hughes. Do you know what that can do to a man? What that can do to their sanity, how it can make a man hurt inside?

No no no, you’ll address me as SIR god damnit, and you’ll like it.

Because now the tides have turned and you need old Howard Eskin to bail your station out of yet another shit show it’s mired in.

You know what you can do with that afternoon drive slot? You can turn it around, shine it up real nice, and shove it up into the clogged arteries of that hack Cataldi.

Now if you’ll excuse me, Ponzios has my booth ready in the Garden Room.

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