BREAKING: Hostage negotiator brought in, ends standoff with Josh Innes

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Fired. So fired.

Philadelphia, PA – After a nearly two-hour standoff with recently fired Josh Innes, who had barricaded himself in the 94 WIP prize closet, a Philadelphia Police Department hostage negotiator brought an end to the terror at Tastykake Studios.

Innes was quietly allowed to walk out of the building with three Brian Haddad Show t-shirt, a case of butterscotch krimpets, and a pack of half-eaten Dorritos he found in the prize closet.

“He originally demanded a gassed up helicopter take him to Philadelphia International Airport, where a private jet be waiting to take him to Acapulco, but when that was rejected he settled for a $15 gift certificate to Jim’s Steaks,” a station employee reported.

At press time, Innes was sitting outside in the parking lot in his Nissan Altima, staring at his cell phone and contemplating if he should call 97.5 The Fanatic.

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