Mike Zimmer is looking for an edge in Philadelphia.
Minneapolis, Minnesota – Vikings Head Coach Mike Zimmer said he would not hesitate to go to Sam Bradford for extra information as the Vikings travel to Philadelphia for a week 7 matchup.
Bradford of course spent last season with the Eagles before being traded to Minnesota prior to the start of the 2016-2017 season.
“Why wouldn’t we ask Sam about Philly? He spent an entire year there, he knows the ins and outs of Philadelphia…he knows all the best hot spots to hit up in Old City, the best sandwich places, and he totally told us about this one place on South Street that will sell you dime bags if you tell the guy a secret code word by the poster section…that’s inside information you can’t get from watching tape,” Zimmer said.
What a day to be alive in Philadelphia. It’s not hot, the Eagles are merely days away from opening their 2016-2017 season, and one of the most decorated broadcasters in the city’s history reached an impressive milestone in his career over the Labor Day Weekend.
Vaunted waffler Angelo Cataldi, co-host of the 94 WIP Morning Show, successfully flip-flopped on yet another opinion after Sam Bradford was traded to the Minnesota Vikings this weekend.
It’s the 1 millionth flip-flop of Cataldi’s career. He joins noted wafflers Howard Eskin, Ike Reese, and Anthony Gargano to reach this pinnacle of broadcasting success in Philadelphia.
The countdown for his career milestone began on April 25, when record keepers noted Cataldi notched his 999,999th flip-flop when he threatened to drive Sam Bradford to the airport himself, and then three days later tweeted the Eagles shouldn’t trade the young quarterback.
Minneapolis, Minnesota – Just days after arriving in Minnesota as part of a blockbuster trade over the weekend, the Vikings were forced to place Sam Bradford on the IR after an elk wandered onto the practice field and trampled an unaware Bradford into the turf.
Bradford, who was wearing headphones during the pre-practice stretch, did not hear warning from his teammates as a wild elk somehow broke into the practice facility and stampeded towards the 28-year-old quarterback.
Philadelphia, PA – Just moments after a deal sent Sam Bradford to the Minnesota Vikings for a first round pick in 2017 and a fourth round pick in 2018, an overly confident Chase Daniel proclaimed that the “mother fucking era of Chase Daniel has begun.”
Daniel, who called a press conference on his own 10 minutes after the Bradford trade was announced, donned a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses before confidently addressing the media in attendance.
Heaven – Sighing deeply, God, the creator of Heaven and the Earth, made a rare appearance in front of the media and issued a public apology to sports fans everywhere for the Seattle Seahawks victory of the Minnesota Vikings in an exciting Wild Card game Sunday afternoon.
Vikings kicker Blair Walsh missed a chip shot field goal that would have seemingly won the Vikings the game with just 22 seconds remaining. Instead, the pro-bowl kicker missed a 27-yard kick and the Seahawks won 10-9.
“That’s my fault. I was pulling strings all afternoon for the Vikings. I mean, that was pretty obvious,” God said. “I step away for two god damn seconds and look what happens. I guess they never heard me say I help those who help themselves. Idiots.”