Chase Daniel: Strap in because the Chase Daniel era has begun, mother fuckers

screen_shot_2016-03-15_at_8-12-50_am-0-0Philadelphia, PA – Just moments after a deal sent Sam Bradford to the Minnesota Vikings for a first round pick in 2017 and a fourth round pick in 2018, an overly confident Chase Daniel proclaimed that the “mother fucking era of Chase Daniel has begun.”

Daniel, who called a press conference on his own 10 minutes after the Bradford trade was announced, donned a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses before confidently addressing the media in attendance.

“Finally, the moment for Chase Daniel has come. So long Bradford, don’t let the door hit your injury-riddled ass on the way out. Strap your balls in and spread your ass cheeks, because this shit is about to get wild,” Daniel said, referring to himself in the third person.

“Mothers lock up your daughters, because Chase Daniel will have you all creaming your jordache jeans in week one of this mother fucker. No pair of panties will be unsoaked after Chase Daniel is through with this city, you can believe that.”

When asked if he thought the second overall pick Carson Wentz may pose a threat to his starting status, Daniel chuckled into the microphone for more than 10 minutes and rolled his eyes for the camera.

“That South Dakota rube? Kid can’t even get through the preseason without cracking his ribs. I am Chase Daniel. I AM ABOVE THE LAW!”

Sources confirmed Daniel showed his penis for the remaining 10 minutes of the press conference.

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