Philadelphia

Who will make our Eagles picks this weekend?

It’s all going wrong.

FREEFALL. That’s the only word to describe our guest pickers performance these past few weeks. We’re getting killed, KILLED in these stupid predictions after just completely flying out of the gates. Three straight incorrect win/loss predictions and two straight against the spread.

Frankly, I’m embarrassed that we’ve chosen these pickers to come on our website, give you, the reader, some important gambling predictions, only to have them completely blow it and make a mockery of everything we hold dear.

But do you feel it? I feel it. A change in the air. Let’s turn this sinking ship around with the Eagles (+1.5) vs. The Vikings in Philadelphia this weekend. It’s the return of Sammy Sleeves, which can only mean one thing….

Win/loss prediction results: 2-3

Against the spread: 3-2

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Vikings Coach Mike Zimmer: We’re expecting Bradford to give us inside info on Philadelphia

Mike Zimmer is looking for an edge in Philadelphia.

Minneapolis, Minnesota – Vikings Head Coach Mike Zimmer said he would not hesitate to go to Sam Bradford for extra information as the Vikings travel to Philadelphia for a week 7 matchup.

Bradford of course spent last season with the Eagles before being traded to Minnesota prior to the start of the 2016-2017 season.

“Why wouldn’t we ask Sam about Philly? He spent an entire year there, he knows the ins and outs of Philadelphia…he knows all the best hot spots to hit up in Old City, the best sandwich places, and he totally told us about this one place on South Street that will sell you dime bags if you tell the guy a secret code word by the poster section…that’s inside information you can’t get from watching tape,” Zimmer said.

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Classic overreaction on its way…

tumblr_mou8y9bxwc1sqwnloo1_500 Well that’s it. It was fun while it lasted. Carson Wentz is officially a bust and the Eagles are a bunch of frauds. Sure they’re 3-2, but they’ll probably lose out for the rest of the season and finish 3-13. WE’RE BACK TO THE DARK DAYS, PEOPLE. Get down on your knees and pray to the God of your choice, because nothing is going to help us now.

I’m not in Philadelphia, but I’m sure Angelo Cataldi has already had multiple on air heart attacks and a debilitating stroke about the Eagles loss. Did he try and blame Malcolm Jenkins for DARING to raise his hand during the National Anthem a few weeks ago? I’m sure he did.

It’s all over people. It was a good few weeks wasn’t it? We were all feeling great about the Eagles, feeling our oats, crowing about our franchise QB….now we lose to a team with a racist name who didn’t even have their best player on offense.

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Flyers head coach Dave Hakstol pros and cons

051915_hakstol-dave_600 Second year head coach Dave Hakstol is looking to improve upon a successful, inaugural season behind the Flyers bench.

But what can be expected of the second year coach? What are the pros and cons of the man who only has one year of experience?

The Coggin Toboggan is going to delve into what Dave Hakstol brings to the table and what the coach can improve upon in the 2016-2017 season.

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Nigel Bradham detained at Detroit Metropolitan Airport for machete, clown suit in luggage

Nigel has some explaining to do.

Detroit, Michigan – Eagles linebacker Nigel Bradham may be looking at a hefty suspension from the franchise or the NFL, as the young athlete was again detained at an airport for having a weapon in his carry on luggage.

Bradham was stopped by security at the screening line when TSA employees found a machete, a clown suit and grease paint in the carry-on bag he had placed on the metal detector conveyor belt.

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Who will make our Eagles picks this week?

Two real assholes.

Well folks, let’s face it. Our guest pickers weren’t going to go 16-0 on both their win/loss and spread predictions, but we’re still on track to go 16-0 against the spread this season DESPITE Abbot and Costello not being bullish two weeks ago about the Eagles chances against Pittsburgh.

The Eagles really showed them up and proved they were a team to be reckoned with in the NFL. I’m sure those deceased comedians are rolling over in their graves after picking against the mighty Birds. THAT’LL TEACH YOU TO TRY AND PICK NFL GAMES. GO BACK TO WRITING COMEDY BITS THAT STAND THE TEST OF TIME AND STILL DELIGHT FANS EVERYWHERE TO THIS DAY, YOU PIECES OF GARBAGE.

Leave the football picks to the professionals.

This week the Eagles (3-0) travel to lovely Detroit, the crown jewel of Michigan, to take on the Lions (1-3).

Here’s our record so far:

Win/Loss prediction record: 2-1

Against the spread: 3-0

But who have we brought in to make the week 3 pick? Will they take the Eagles (-3) or the lowly Lions? We decided to bring in the host of a modestly popular television show in Detroit to see if he can steer our readers in the right direction. But who are we talking about?

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We saw a sublime talent, destined to be one of the greats, debut for the 76ers last night

joel-embiid-shirley-temples If you watched the 76ers kick off their 2016-2017 season in Boston last night, decades from now you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren that you saw one of the greatest Sixers to ever put on the uniform suit up for the first time in his long and successful career.

The energy was insane leading up to this game. Can anyone remember another time that this city got so pumped up for a 76ers preseason game? How about even a regular season game? It didn’t come close.

Twitter was bumping. The Hinkie-ites were out in full force, puffing out their chests, saying “look at what our fallen leader has done for you. Be thankful, Philadelphia.” Even the national media was paying attention, keeping at least one eye on the 76ers during opening night of the MLB postseason.

It was all because of one man. The man who so many have already labeled a savior of the organization despite only playing sparse minutes in one preseason game.

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Fired-up Joel Embiid has been kicking a concrete pillar all morning

0344696 Philadelphia, PA – On the morning of his first preseason game after a long road to the NBA, 76ers center Joel Embiid has spent a fidgety day at the team’s practice facility, dealing with butterflies before making his professional basketball debut.

Head Coach Brett Brown said athletes tend to deal with nervous energy in their own ways. Some sit in a corner by themselves to think, others listen to their music before game time, others can’t stop talking to their teammates, he said.

Dario Saric, another 76ers rookie, has taken to joking around with his teammates and calling his family this morning, Brown said.

Embiid has taken a different approach.

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BREAKING: Josh Innes returning to Houston buffet

He’s coming home.

Houston, Texas – Recently fired 94 WIP sports talk host Josh Innes announced today on Twitter that he would be making a stunning return to Houston’s Golden Corral next week.

The talented, but mercurial, Innes officially made his return to the vaunted buffet official on Monday afternoon, stating he would be filling a 3 to 7 p.m. slot Monday through Friday.

Innes is expected to touch on such controversial subjects as the carving stations availability at dinner only and the price differential that faces lunchtime and dinnertime patrons each day.

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PETA to Carson Wentz: ‘Less real hunting, more hunting for a Super Bowl’

voila_capture-2016-09-29_08-45-37_am This unpublished press release has been intercepted by our moles working in the PETA national office. Apparently the animal-loving organization is turning its hateful eyes on Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz after a recent photo of him hunting deer during the bye week hit the Twitter-verse.

It’s a bold new foray into sports for the animal rights organization and it’s likely to ruffle some feathers in this city. What do you think?

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