Detroit

Nigel Bradham detained at Detroit Metropolitan Airport for machete, clown suit in luggage

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Nigel has some explaining to do.

Detroit, Michigan – Eagles linebacker Nigel Bradham may be looking at a hefty suspension from the franchise or the NFL, as the young athlete was again detained at an airport for having a weapon in his carry on luggage.

Bradham was stopped by security at the screening line when TSA employees found a machete, a clown suit and grease paint in the carry-on bag he had placed on the metal detector conveyor belt.

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Who will make our Eagles picks this week?

abbott2020cos

Two real assholes.

Well folks, let’s face it. Our guest pickers weren’t going to go 16-0 on both their win/loss and spread predictions, but we’re still on track to go 16-0 against the spread this season DESPITE Abbot and Costello not being bullish two weeks ago about the Eagles chances against Pittsburgh.

The Eagles really showed them up and proved they were a team to be reckoned with in the NFL. I’m sure those deceased comedians are rolling over in their graves after picking against the mighty Birds. THAT’LL TEACH YOU TO TRY AND PICK NFL GAMES. GO BACK TO WRITING COMEDY BITS THAT STAND THE TEST OF TIME AND STILL DELIGHT FANS EVERYWHERE TO THIS DAY, YOU PIECES OF GARBAGE.

Leave the football picks to the professionals.

This week the Eagles (3-0) travel to lovely Detroit, the crown jewel of Michigan, to take on the Lions (1-3).

Here’s our record so far:

Win/Loss prediction record: 2-1

Against the spread: 3-0

But who have we brought in to make the week 3 pick? Will they take the Eagles (-3) or the lowly Lions? We decided to bring in the host of a modestly popular television show in Detroit to see if he can steer our readers in the right direction. But who are we talking about?

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Gordie Howe arrives in heaven, immediately scores goal, fights God

635508832282772563-ap-howe-stroke-hockeyThe Afterlife – A number of heavenly sources confirmed today that Gordie Howe, “Mr. Hockey,” arrived in heaven safely and immediately made his presence felt in the ethereal plane.

One archangel said Howe grabbed a stick almost at once after emerging from the Pearly Gates and hopped onto a frozen pond for a pickup game with a number of other deceased hockey legends.

“Great to see Howie out here, ruffling some feathers and stirring the pot, as per usual,” said Maurice “Rocket” Richard, who passed away in 2000.

About 10 minutes into the spirited contest, Howe blasted a slap shot past Terry Sawchuk to notch his first goal in the afterlife.

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