Enjoy it now, Wentzy boy.
Carson Wentz looks like the real deal. After a stunning debut in Eagles green, the rookie quarterback is firmly entrenched in the hearts and minds of Eagles fans throughout the city.
And boy oh boy, when they decide to turn on him it’s going to be something special.
Remember when Nick Foles was the savior? When Chip Kelly had an offense that the NFL couldn’t figure out? We were all crowing about how the Eagles were a jump ahead of the rest of the league.
Unbelievable debut from the young man. 278 yards, two touchdowns….he looked poised, he looked under control and he looked sexy in an Eagles jersey.
Some real quick thoughts:
RGIII is a bum and Doug Pederson is a genius. No two ways about it.
Wentz will throw for over 5,000 yards, run for another 1,000 yards and throw 45+ TDs.
I don’t want to overreact, but the Eagles are going 16-0 and are winning the Super Bowl. It’s obvious.
RIP Snickers the Possum. We hardly knew ye. (2015-2016)
What a conundrum. Just two days from the start of the Eagles 2016-2017 season and we have no columnist to pick games for us. Last year, as everyone knows, we employed Snickers, an anthropomorphic possum, to serve as our official Eagles handicapper. The lovable little scamp quickly scittered his way into our collective hearts and became a fan favorite.
Unfortunately, he was terrible at picking games. TERRIBLE. I’m not sure he picked a single game correctly through the five weeks we allowed him to pick games last year. He had terrible jokes, awful possum puns, he would play dead whenever we tried to tell him he needed to improve his performance….it was frustrating.
So after smashing his head on a rock, we abandoned our game predictions and vowed to never do it again.
But it’s a new year. New grass on the field, a new quarterback at the helm, so why don’t we try this again?
But who will make our Eagles picks now? Well, we decided to bring in SPECIAL GUESTS each and every week to share their knowledge with us, their wisdom, and hopefully not sue the website for using their likeness and making fun of them to pick football games.
But who is up first this season…..?
Weight of the world on your shoulders, big guy. No pressure.
Philadelphia, PA – Sources have confirmed that a fidgety, nervously chuckling Carson Wentz can’t keep telling teammates how great it is that he’s going to start against the Cleveland Browns on Sunday.
The first-year quarterback has reportedly been telling teammates at the NovaCare Complex nonstop that he can’t wait for Sunday to come and how his career path has taken a rapidly accelerated route in just the past several days.
“I’m pumped. It’s just so great I’m starting on Sunday, really, really great. I mean, it’s beyond great. It’s what I’ve worked for my entire life,” Wentz told tight end Brent Celek in the NovaCare weight room as he tied and re-tied a jump rope over and over again, severely fraying the cord of rope.
What a day to be alive in Philadelphia. It’s not hot, the Eagles are merely days away from opening their 2016-2017 season, and one of the most decorated broadcasters in the city’s history reached an impressive milestone in his career over the Labor Day Weekend.
Vaunted waffler Angelo Cataldi, co-host of the 94 WIP Morning Show, successfully flip-flopped on yet another opinion after Sam Bradford was traded to the Minnesota Vikings this weekend.
It’s the 1 millionth flip-flop of Cataldi’s career. He joins noted wafflers Howard Eskin, Ike Reese, and Anthony Gargano to reach this pinnacle of broadcasting success in Philadelphia.
The countdown for his career milestone began on April 25, when record keepers noted Cataldi notched his 999,999th flip-flop when he threatened to drive Sam Bradford to the airport himself, and then three days later tweeted the Eagles shouldn’t trade the young quarterback.
A less confident Chase Daniel addressed the media this afternoon.
Philadelphia, PA – Mere hours after holding a press conference where Chase Daniel declared the “Chase Daniel era had officially begun” in Philadelphia, the backup quarterback held another press conference to clarify his comments and confirm he would be happy as a backup on the roster.
Daniel seemingly had to backtrack once several sources reported Wentz would start when medically cleared.
Philadelphia, PA – Just moments after a deal sent Sam Bradford to the Minnesota Vikings for a first round pick in 2017 and a fourth round pick in 2018, an overly confident Chase Daniel proclaimed that the “mother fucking era of Chase Daniel has begun.”
Daniel, who called a press conference on his own 10 minutes after the Bradford trade was announced, donned a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses before confidently addressing the media in attendance.
With news dropping that the number two overall draft pick Carson Wentz would not participate in the final preseason game this Thursday and would likely not dress for the regular season, it’s natural for Eagles fans to wonder if they were sold a bill of goods on the young quarterback.
Sure he had great success in his college career at North Dakota State playing against sub par competition, but how good is the young gunslinger and will he ever live up to expectations in a city that demands a lot from its football team?
The Coggin Toboggan’s scout team has you covered and has put together a comprehensive pros and cons list of what many fans hope will be the first quarterback to bring a Super Bowl to Philadelphia.
Not a good day if you’re a fan of the U.S. men’s Olympic swim team, folks.
If you’re following the soap opera currently unfurling in Rio this week with several members of the U.S. swimming team than I’m sure you’ve already seen the newest wrinkle to this very strange story.
This newest tidbit broke this morning and further lends doubt to the story Ryan Lochte told the media earlier this week about being robbed at gunpoint by fake Brazil police officers.
Oh boy. Ryan Lochte, you’ve got some splainin’ to do.
But hold on a second…seems like a familiar story. Where have I seen something like this before…hmmm….
OH MY GOD WE’VE BUSTED THIS STORY WIDE OPEN.
Philadelphia, PA – City officials are warning Eagles fans to limit their internet and twitter exposure today, as Eagles beat reporters and local sports reporters are unleashing hot-takes at a furious pace today during the first day of Eagles training camp.
Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney warned elderly citizens and children under the age of 10 to stay off the internet completely. With a lack of substance and meaningful action on the field, Kenney warned the city that reporters would go to any lengths to suck readers in.
The Coggin Toboggan 