Eliot Shorr-Parks

SCANDAL: Shorr-Parks admits to never attending an Eagles OTA, no journalist has

F-LG0XIp

Eliot Shorr-Parks is blowing the lid off of a massive Philadelphia sports media scandal.

In a stunning admission this morning on NJ.com, Eagles beat writer Eliot Shorr-Parks published a column apologizing to his readers after he admitted to not attending a single Eagles OTA this season, nor any over his entire journalistic career.

In fact, no sports journalist has ever attended an OTA in the past decade, he claimed.

The veteran journalist admitted to “just hanging out at a bar” for several hours each day with a number of other journalists from various city publications who were supposed to be covering the informal team workouts leading up to July training camp.

“Everything you read about OTAs in any of the newspapers in this city? All made up. Nobody actually goes to them, who would do that?” he wrote in a column published on NJ.com this morning. “We tried to cover them at first, but they’re so boring. Athletes running around in their shorts, playing catch? You try to crank out 1,000 words a day on that bullshit.”

“Where do they even hold OTAs anyways? Clearwater? No, that’s baseball…umm….Lehigh Valley? That sounds about right.”

Shorr-Parks decided to come clean this year, though, claiming he was feeling guilty about lying to his readers.

However, it’s believed he was forced to admit to his scam after accidentally publishing a screen shot from the NES classic “Tecmo Super Bowl” on his Twitter account over the weekend and trying to pass it off as action from OTAs.

“QB Eagles looks great this year! Really working hard on his touchdown celebrations,” Shorr-Parks wrote under the published photo.

(more…)

Advertisements

City of Philadelphia issues excessive hot-take warning during first day of training camp

580x400-trainingcamp-announcePhiladelphia, PA – City officials are warning Eagles fans to limit their internet and twitter exposure today, as Eagles beat reporters and local sports reporters are unleashing hot-takes at a furious pace today during the first day of Eagles training camp.

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney warned elderly citizens and children under the age of 10 to stay off the internet completely. With a lack of substance and meaningful action on the field, Kenney warned the city that reporters would go to any lengths to suck readers in.

(more…)