Well that didn’t take too long.
Yes, there’s a lot going on in the city right now, but can we get an update on Chase Daniel’s dog?!
I know it’s a busy week in Philadelphia right now. The Flyers are getting ready for game 1 against the Capitals on Thursday, the city is still mourning the passing of beloved Flyers owner Ed Snider, and the Phillies are doing whatever it is they’re doing in game 7 of a remaining 5,983 in the season, but I think we’re all forgetting about the most important story in Philadelphia right now.
DID CHASE DANIEL’S DOG MAKE IT TO PHILADELPHIA?!
Bryan Colangelo admits to ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ inspired scheme to gain GM position
Bryan Colangelo (left), Jerry Colangelo (center) and Larry (right).
Philadelphia, PA – Just two days into his position as GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, Bryan Colangelo was forced to call a hasty press conference and admit to a months long scheme he employed after watching the 1980s comedy “Weekend at Bernie’s” last December.
Colangelo admitted that his father, Jerry, has been deceased during his entire employment with the 76ers. Jerry Colangelo was hired by the 76ers in mid-December as a special Chairman of Basketball Operations for the organization.
Ed Snider, too cool for this world
Photo Credit to Comcast Spectacor.
As everyone has surely seen by now, Ed Snider, long time owner of the Philadelphia Flyers and a previous owner of the 76ers, passed away today after a two-year battle with cancer.
Not too much we can offer to the conversation that hasn’t already been said, but Snider was the MAN. Just loved his Flyers, tolerated his Sixers, and never knew a draft pick he wouldn’t trade at the deadline to bring in some world class talent.
Just look at that picture to the left. Sweet double-finger point, slicked back hair, awesome pin striped suit. You have to respect it.
He stood up to the USSR in the 70s. Who does that? Ed Snider does that.
Just a quick anecdote about Snider. My brothers and I used to sit in a suite for a few games each year that was directly next to Snider’s personal suite. You could tell he didn’t want to speak with ANYONE during the games. If any well-wishers or family members came up to him during play, he just straight up ignored any attempt at conversation. You could almost see the veins pulsating in his head as some young grandkid or long removed great nephew tried to DARE speak to him when the Flyers were on a Peco Power Play.
It made the games more nerve wracking to be next to Snider, because you’d look over and he’d be living and dying with each shot. Just tense the entire match-up, ignoring all of his family members around him and most likely gritting his teeth as he listened to the jackasses bitching and whining throughout the crowd after ever poor play, trying to identify their voices so he could have security rough them up in a back room during a TV timeout.
He had his own personal television installed in front of his seat, binoculars and a land line phone that he would pick up every so often and have secret discussions on. Who was he talking too?! The head coach? Claude Giroux? THE PRESIDENT?!
He was probably just ordering snacks, but it was still awesome.
Ed, you will be missed. Easily the most dedicated and passionate owner in the city.
You knew what the fans wanted in this city and you tried to give it to them every season, and that’s more than any other owner in this city can say.
Jerry Colangelo assures organization his precious son will be perfect as GM
Look at these idiots.
Philadelphia, PA – A beaming Jerry Colangelo introduced his son, Bryan, the apple of his eye, his precious bundle of joy, the fruit of his loins, as the next 76ers general manager, taking over for the icky Sam Hinkie.
Gently rubbing his son’s shoulder as Bryan enjoyed an ice cream, Jerry said it was every father’s dream to oust a hard working employee from a position of power and to then fill it with their wildly under qualified and inept boy.
Sam Hinkie leaves 76ers fans at time when they need him the most
Philadelphia, PA – A tearful fan base watched forlornly as their favorite person in the whole world, their best friend, their buddy in arms, told them that he had taught them all they needed to know and it was time for him to leave.
“But why…was it something we did? We’ll be good, we promise! Please don’t leave us now, we just saw them win the 10th game of the season and the draft is coming up. Please, we love you,” a sobbing fan base told their pasty savior, as he looked down on them fondly.
Greg Hardy won’t stop winking at camera during ESPN interview
Bristol, Conn – A two-part interview with Greg Hardy on ESPN did not go particularly well for the embattled defensive end, as the young athlete blatantly winked at the camera numerous times during his discussion with ESPN’s Adam Schefter.
Hardy, who was suspended the first four games of last season due to allegedly beating his girlfriend Nicole Holden last year, perhaps agreed to the interview as a way to rehab his public image.
What does Doug Pederson’s head look like?
We struggled to figure out what to write on the blog today. Another post about Villanova? No thanks. Something about the Flyers and their march to the playoffs? Nah. The 76ers winning their 10th game of the season? The 25 remaining Sixers fans in this city would be annoyed and go to Facebook to complain.
So we really decided to dig deep and flex our journalistic muscle. We want to make a difference and write posts that people in this city will read and think about for the rest of their day.
So, here is a complete list of things we think Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson’s weird head looks like.
Villanova students riot the right way
Photo credit: @McDanielJustine on Twitter.
Villanova, PA – Thousands of Villanova students flocked from the Pavilion onto Lancaster Avenue Monday night after the Wildcats dispatched the Tarheels 77-74 on a buzzer beating 3-point shot by Kris Jenkins for their first NCAA championship since 1985.
Police in riot gear thronged the campus as thousands of students celebrated and set a massive bonfire about an hour into the festivities. The wanton destruction was described as “incredibly classy” by the onlooking officers.
The drunken revelers celebrated long into the night, under the watchful eye of Philadelphia police.
City thrilled it has already lost all hope for the Phillies
Philadelphia, PA – Following a grueling 6-2 loss to the Cincinnati Reds, in which the Phillies took a 2-1 lead into the bottom of the eighth, the City of Philadelphia was thrilled when it realized it no longer had to pay any attention to the organization for the rest of the year.
The loss diminished any shred of hope for a positive season of any kind, a record for the organization after just one game played.
The Coggin Toboggan 