Aaron Nola

It is time for the MLB to recognize the “Velasquez” as an official stat

I’m not a stat guy. Never have, never will be. I go by my GUT and by my highly trained EYE to make decisions on the players I watch. Oh, your starting pitching has a high VoRP, but a below average WARP, so he’s not very effective? I could have told you that by just hearing the smack of one of his pitches as it hits a weathered, oiled catcher’s mitt on a bright summer’s day. That’s baseball, sonny, not nerds with their slide rules and protractors measuring launch velocity and bat angles.

But one stat I can get behind? One that all of baseball should recognize as a sign of extraordinary FUTILITY for starting pitching is the “Velasquez,” a statistic of my own creation.

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City thrilled it has already lost all hope for the Phillies

Philadelphia_PhilliesPhiladelphia, PA – Following a grueling 6-2 loss to the Cincinnati Reds, in which the Phillies took a 2-1 ┬álead into the bottom of the eighth, the City of Philadelphia was thrilled when it realized it no longer had to pay any attention to the organization for the rest of the year.

The loss diminished any shred of hope for a positive season of any kind, a record for the organization after just one game played.

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Ruben Amaro Jr. beginning to think Phillies may not bring him back next season

072113-amaro-slideshow-apPhiladelphia, PA – Speaking from his home, ex-Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. told reporters he was beginning to think the Phillies may not bring him back as the general manager for next season.

“I don’t want to look to into this, but after they let me go from my contract and told me they would not extend me next year, this really leads me to think I may not be back with the organization in 2016,” he said.

Amaro Jr. said he was nervous that nobody in the Phillies front office had been taking his calls since August and his official team email address had been deleted.

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Aaron Nola dazzles fans with 6 strong innings, immediately demoted to AAA after game

Dead man walking (Photo credit: Emily Paine / The Morning Call)

Dead man walking (Photo credit: Emily Paine / The Morning Call)

Philadelphia, PA – Giving Philadelphia fans something to be excited about for the first time since 2011, Aaron Nola made his major league debut Tuesday night against the Tampa Bay Rays, pitching six-strong innings and only allowing one run.

Nola exited the game with the Phillies losing 0-1, but he had certainly done his job, only allowing one earned run on five hits.

Ruben Amaro congratulated Nola on his debut, sitting next to the beaming rookie in a post game press conference.

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Phillies minor-league pitcher Aaron Nola receives devastating news

Dead man walking (Photo credit: Emily Paine / The Morning Call)

Dead man walking (Photo credit: Emily Paine / The Morning Call)

Philadelphia, PA – Aaron Nola, the highest rated minor-league pitcher in the Phillies farm system, had the meeting every minor league player dreads this morning.

The Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs pitcher reportedly came out of a meeting with manager Dave Brundage in tears, punching his fist into a nearby locker before sitting on a stool with his head in his hands for close to 20 minutes straight.

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