Scott O’Neil

Colin Cowherd is a parasite and Scott O’Neil is letting him feast on the 76ers essence

Oh Scott, did you have to bow under the pressure of a national sports talk moron and go against 99% of your fanbase’s wishes?

I mean, normally sending a personalized jersey to someone who has come around on the franchise would be a fine thing, but did you have to do it with him? With Colin “perfect smokey eye” Cowherd?

Maybe the only other person you could have recruited onto the 76ers bandwagon would have been Skip Bayless, but not even you could be that tone deaf to try and curry his favor….right?

RIGHT?

It’s not about someone trashing The Process…it’s not about an us vs. them mentality…it’s about Colin Cowherd being a pig-headed moron who is desperately trying to glom onto something that is good and pure, someone trying to wriggle his gray, clammy talons into a dominant organism and feast off its vitality.

He’s a worthless pilot fish, eating the morsels left over from the king of the sea.

You don’t acknowledge those parasites, Scott, and you especially don’t serve them free seven-course banquets when they’re ABHORRED by the fans that spend good money to see your team.

I’ll only accept this if the jersey is infected with ebola. Okay, maybe not ebola, but at least lice. Just festering with lice. A parasite being overrun by other parasites. OH SWEET IRONY.

If I see him sporting that jersey on Twitter I’ll just lose it…until the 76ers win game 1 and then I’ll completely forget about forgettable Mr. Cowherd.

Do you want some 76ers merchandise that won’t make you vomit upon the sight of it? Go buy some Phila Unite t-shirts and long-sleeved t-shirts. They’re awesome and I personally guarantee Colin Cowherd has never been within one square-mile of their presence.

Click the link below to buy.

Philadelphia 76ers Phila Unite Playoff Shirt

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Bryan Colangelo to Michael Barkann: “Are you a doctor now? Am I the GM now? Where am I?”

041016_bryan-colangelo_120076ers general manager Bryan Colangelo appeared to get a little testy yesterday with Comcast SportsNet Philly Sports Talk host Michael Barkann when fielding questions about Joel Embiid’s health.

The high-collared dullard soured after Barkann asked him if he felt it was necessary for the start 76ers center to undergo surgery on his ailing knee and be shut down for the rest of the year.

“Are you a doctor now? With all due respect, medical injuries are injuries that require care and attention. Am I the GM now? Where am I? What am I doing here? How did I get here?” Colangelo thoughtfully added.

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Bryan Colangelo admits to ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ inspired scheme to gain GM position

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Bryan Colangelo (left), Jerry Colangelo (center) and Larry (right).

Philadelphia, PA – Just two days into his position as GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, Bryan Colangelo was forced to call a hasty press conference and admit to a months long scheme he employed after watching the 1980s comedy “Weekend at Bernie’s” last December.

Colangelo admitted that his father, Jerry, has been deceased during his entire employment with the 76ers. Jerry Colangelo was hired by the 76ers in mid-December as a special Chairman of Basketball Operations for the organization.

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After Twitter rant, 76ers create “Howard Eskin safe zone” around Wells Fargo Center

Public enemy #1 at the Wells Fargo Center.

Public enemy #1 at the Wells Fargo Center.

Philadelphia, PA – Scott O’Neil, Chief Executive Officer of the Philadelphia 76ers, said the team has been forced to create a “Howard Eskin free zone” around the Wells Fargo Center following the media personality’s rant on Twitter about the state of the franchise.

The 76ers perhaps took a page out of the University of Missouri’s playbook, where representatives ironically created a media-free “safe space” for student protesters, despite it being located in a public area.

“We need to be able to do our jobs without the distraction of Howard Eskin. Did you see how many tweets he levied my way this afternoon? I don’t know what to do,” a visibly shaken O’Neil said.

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