The Phanatic and his mother, Phoebe, in happier times.
Philadelphia, PA – Celebrating his birthday with his blessed mother Sunday afternoon as the Phillies took on the Nationals at Citizens Bank Park, the Philadelphia Phanatic’s celebration was ruined by the appearance of his long-estranged father.
The disheveled green mascot unexpectedly showed up Sunday afternoon for the first time in nearly 20 years, much to the dismay of both the Phanatic and his mother, Phoebe.
Philadelphia, PA – The members of the 97.5 FM Morning Show team offered listeners their predictions for the Eagles 2016-2017 season record a day after the team schedules were announced.
Host Anthony Gargano predicted the Eagles would finish their season at a record of 7-9, but announced his decision to change his prediction roughly 5,000 times before the season actually begins this September.
Los Angeles, Calif. – LA Rams quarterback Nick Foles was reportedly elated over the news that the Rams had successfully traded several draft picks to move up to the first pick in the 2016 NFL, as he assumed the team would likely pick one of several highly touted offensive linemen to help his development as the team’s starting quarterback.
Foles said a polished, blue chip tackle will be exactly what the Rams need going into the 2016-2017 season with him leading the squad as the starting quarterback.
NHL analyst Yakov Smirnoff.
This is why I come to America in the 1980s, for the two glorious months where large men fight one another with sticks on the frozen ponds. In Soviet Russia, we call this a marriage ceremony. America, what a country!
Much like the Alexander of Ovechkin, I came to America in search of a better life and to make jokes about what a horrible place Russia was to live. In America you play hockey with a frozen ball of rubber, but in Soviet Russia you played hocked with a hand grenade. Sudden death overtime had entirely different meaning.
Heh heh heh heh!
Well that didn’t take too long.
I know it’s a busy week in Philadelphia right now. The Flyers are getting ready for game 1 against the Capitals on Thursday, the city is still mourning the passing of beloved Flyers owner Ed Snider, and the Phillies are doing whatever it is they’re doing in game 7 of a remaining 5,983 in the season, but I think we’re all forgetting about the most important story in Philadelphia right now.
DID CHASE DANIEL’S DOG MAKE IT TO PHILADELPHIA?!
Bryan Colangelo (left), Jerry Colangelo (center) and Larry (right).
Philadelphia, PA – Just two days into his position as GM of the Philadelphia 76ers, Bryan Colangelo was forced to call a hasty press conference and admit to a months long scheme he employed after watching the 1980s comedy “Weekend at Bernie’s” last December.
Colangelo admitted that his father, Jerry, has been deceased during his entire employment with the 76ers. Jerry Colangelo was hired by the 76ers in mid-December as a special Chairman of Basketball Operations for the organization.
Photo Credit to Comcast Spectacor.
As everyone has surely seen by now, Ed Snider, long time owner of the Philadelphia Flyers and a previous owner of the 76ers, passed away today after a two-year battle with cancer.
Not too much we can offer to the conversation that hasn’t already been said, but Snider was the MAN. Just loved his Flyers, tolerated his Sixers, and never knew a draft pick he wouldn’t trade at the deadline to bring in some world class talent.
Just look at that picture to the left. Sweet double-finger point, slicked back hair, awesome pin striped suit. You have to respect it.
He stood up to the USSR in the 70s. Who does that? Ed Snider does that.
Just a quick anecdote about Snider. My brothers and I used to sit in a suite for a few games each year that was directly next to Snider’s personal suite. You could tell he didn’t want to speak with ANYONE during the games. If any well-wishers or family members came up to him during play, he just straight up ignored any attempt at conversation. You could almost see the veins pulsating in his head as some young grandkid or long removed great nephew tried to DARE speak to him when the Flyers were on a Peco Power Play.
It made the games more nerve wracking to be next to Snider, because you’d look over and he’d be living and dying with each shot. Just tense the entire match-up, ignoring all of his family members around him and most likely gritting his teeth as he listened to the jackasses bitching and whining throughout the crowd after ever poor play, trying to identify their voices so he could have security rough them up in a back room during a TV timeout.
He had his own personal television installed in front of his seat, binoculars and a land line phone that he would pick up every so often and have secret discussions on. Who was he talking too?! The head coach? Claude Giroux? THE PRESIDENT?!
He was probably just ordering snacks, but it was still awesome.
Ed, you will be missed. Easily the most dedicated and passionate owner in the city.
You knew what the fans wanted in this city and you tried to give it to them every season, and that’s more than any other owner in this city can say.
Look at these idiots.
Philadelphia, PA – A beaming Jerry Colangelo introduced his son, Bryan, the apple of his eye, his precious bundle of joy, the fruit of his loins, as the next 76ers general manager, taking over for the icky Sam Hinkie.
Gently rubbing his son’s shoulder as Bryan enjoyed an ice cream, Jerry said it was every father’s dream to oust a hard working employee from a position of power and to then fill it with their wildly under qualified and inept boy.
Philadelphia, PA – A tearful fan base watched forlornly as their favorite person in the whole world, their best friend, their buddy in arms, told them that he had taught them all they needed to know and it was time for him to leave.
“But why…was it something we did? We’ll be good, we promise! Please don’t leave us now, we just saw them win the 10th game of the season and the draft is coming up. Please, we love you,” a sobbing fan base told their pasty savior, as he looked down on them fondly.
The Coggin Toboggan 