Lesean McCoy

Lesean McCoy: Chip Kelly made black players pick weeds out of field before practice

mccoyBuffalo, NY – Chip Kelly, former Eagles running back, continued his media tour and leveled several harsh criticisms at Chip Kelly in a recent interview with ESPN the Magazine.

Several of McCoy’s comments could be construed calling his former head coach a racist.

“Prior to every practice, Chip would make all of the black players pick weeds out of the field before practice. He ordered us to sing old-school spirituals as well. He did it every single practice and the white players would just sit there and watch us. He was awful. I remember he gave Nick Foles a whip and told him to use it liberally if we didn’t get everything finished 10 minutes prior to practice,” Kelly told the bewildered ESPN reporter.

While all evidence points to the contrary and no video exists of such an order, McCoy doubled down and said Kelly would keep him in chains in the NovaCare Complex, only to release him on game days and for team practices.

When called out on his claims for being in no way truthful by several of his current Buffalo Bills teammates who overheard the interview and were horrified by his statements, McCoy said he may have misremembered things.

“Look, it was a long time ago, I might be mistaken. Ok, MAYBE he didn’t make us pick weeds before practice or keep me in chains, but he was a dick. Plain and simple. And being a dick is just as bad as being a racist, I think we can all agree on that,” he said.

Nobody agreed with him.

As of press time, Eagles fans were arguing if McCoy’s statements today were worse than when he claimed Andy Reid forcibly drafted him from the University of Pittsburgh and shipped him to Philadelphia in an old wooden boat.

Chip Kelly vs. Lesean McCoy, how a rumor is born (a play in 8 acts)

The Coggin has been flooded with reports today in regards to the alleged rumor of the dustup between head coach Chip Kelly and traded running back Lesean McCoy. The following is a reenactment between the two around week 12 of last season. Lets watch, shall we?

mccoy

Damn coach, too many sprints today at practice, you’ve got to be shitting me.

092313-kelly-chip-eagles-600

Did you just say you want to be hitting me, Shady?!

mccoy

Wait, what? No, no coach I said you’re got to be shitting me, shitting me. Not hitting. Man get off my back.

092313-kelly-chip-eagles-600

Smack? Did you just say get off my smack? You’re a big boy, Shady, you know what you said. Tell me what you fucking said.

mccoy

…….

092313-kelly-chip-eagles-600

……..

mccoy

…….

Don't get too comfortable, Sam. Ahhhhhhhh I’m just messing with you Shady! I had you for a second, I have to say, I think you’d fold under questioning ::turns to Howie Roseman:: I can’t wait to trade that piece of garbage to Buffalo.

The End

Rumor: Eagles planning a blockbuster trade with St. Louis Rams

Young hotshot quarterback Nick Foles is apparently on the Eagles radar.

Young hotshot quarterback Nick Foles is apparently on the Eagles radar.

Philadelphia, PA – In an off season with a number of controversial moves and signings, rumor has it the Philadelphia Eagles are planning on trying to complete a blockbuster trade with the St. Louis Rams.

Sources are telling the Coggin that the Eagles are planning to trade Sam Bradford to the Cleveland Browns for their first round pick, and then package their first round pick and ship both to the St. Louis Rams for quarterback Nick Foles.

“Word has it that Eagles Head Coach Chip Kelly loves the kid….he’d do anything to get Foles. I’ve never seen him higher on another quarterback,” An anonymous source told the Coggin.

Chip Kelly did not confirm or deny the reports, but he did give a wink to a reporter when asked the question.

It would be a stunning turn of events, as the Eagles would position themselves to acquire a potential franchise quarterback to build their organization around for years to come. It would come at a high cost, but if one is to believe Kelly’s game plan, a quarterback like Foles is someone you can’t undervalue.

As of press time, Kelly was also make inquiries to the Buffalo Bills as to the availability of young running back Lesean McCoy. He was rumored to have offered the Eagles 2016 first round pick and inside linebacker Kiko Alonso.

Chip Kelly’s plan apparently to give Angelo Cataldi a massive stroke

When The Coggin Toboggan wants to get serious it turns its coverage over to its editor and founder to bring everything to a screeching halt. Goodbye funny, say hello to self pity and depression.

Here at the CT, we are big fans of the moves the Eagles are making (not so much the decision to not re-sign Maclin, but everything else is going fairly well). They all make sense financially, talent wise, and show a desire from the franchise to explore new options instead of doing the same things over and over again.

An added benefit of the bevy of roster moves being made by the Eagles is the effect they will have on the local media, especially one Angelo Cataldi.

We’re not huge fans of the notorious flip flopper and anything that will take an extra step into handing him a massive stroke is just fine by us.

He’s been on the air for a few hours by now. Is his speech slurred? Has he been nonsensical? Ahh perfect.

In other media news, Howard Eskin tweeted this out at 9 p.m. Sunday evening.

Eskin screen shotThat’s about an hour after the news of Maclin’s plans to sign with the Chiefs was all over Twitter. Really not breaking any news there Howard.

Also, note the twitter handle. Yeah, that’s not Jeremy Maclin’s. It’s this fellows.

Eskin 2That’s some great reporting, Howard.

Leaked: Eagles 2015 free agent wish list

NFL_FA_ArticleChip Kelly must be furious this afternoon, as an anonymous Eagles front office employee has leaked a comprehensive list of available free agents who the organization will be targeting at the start of free agency on Tuesday, March 10.

The Eagles are widely expected to be one of the major players in free agency this year, as the team had over $50 million available to spend.

Here is the list of players the Eagles are reportedly going to try and ink this offseason.

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Confused Lesean McCoy “thrilled” to be leaving Philadelphia for warmer climate of Buffalo

Wintry WeatherPhiladelphia PA – Reports coming out of Lesean McCoy’s camp have the young running back feeling a little bit better today about the trade to Buffalo, as Philadelphia is being pounded by yet another stretch of poor weather this winter.

However, when asked for a comment, McCoy reportedly said he was “thrilled to be leaving Philadelphia on a day like today when it means I’ll be playing in the temperate confines of Buffalo.”

McCoy was reportedly eagerly packing hawaiian styled shirts, shorts, and flip flops into a bag as he readied himself for his flight out of Philadelphia.

“It was a little depressed about going to Buffalo, but man, how can you not be happy to leave the city on a horrible day like today? I’ve heard Buffalo is is beautiful this time of year, warm all year round, it will be a great place to live.”

A source close to McCoy said the young running back has been eagerly googling his new hometown, but a check of his recent internet history shows that he had been wrongly searching out “Bermuda” instead of “Buffalo.”

“Gorgeous women, gorgeous beaches, gorgeous climate…how did I get so lucky?” He said, as friends debated whether or not to tell him he was mistaken.

It was ultimately determined to let him “ride out the good feelings” until his inevitable depression when he stepped off the airplane into the real Buffalo New York.

Chip Kelly: Hinkie did what? God damnit…get me Foles and a whore that can dance

Chip Kelly, perhaps gone mad with power.

Chip Kelly, perhaps gone mad with power.

Philadelphia, PA – Hearing that 76ers GM Sam Hinkie seized the spotlight again, just one day after the Eagles completed a blockbuster trade that saw franchise running back Lesean McCoy shipped to Buffalo for linebacker Kiko Alonso, Chip Kelly was seen destroying his office at the Novacare Complex in front of a cowering Howie Roseman.

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Sam Hinkie: Oh, so Chip Kelly traded McCoy? We’ll see about this.

Hinkie glasses

Chip Kelly’s got nothing on this stud.

Philadelphia, PA – After having the Philadelphia sports media diverted from debating the 76ers recent trades, future and direction of the franchise for just one day, Sam Hinkie simply smirked and pressed a gigantic red button affixed to his desk deep within the confines of the Wells Fargo Center during an impromptu press conference.

“So Mr. Chip Kelly thinks he can divert attention away from my beloved 76ers by making a rash decision and trading one of the most talented and popular members of the Philadelphia Eagles? Please, check the team site,” He said to a collected group of reporters. “Upon checking your iPhones, you’ll notice Nerlens Noel is no longer listed on the team roster.”

A gasp arose from the media, as the active team roster instead featured a picture of Kevin Durant wearing a 76ers jersey. A second picture had been posted to the main page of the 76ers website, prominently featuring a smiling Durant shaking Hinkie’s hand.

“Ladies, gentlemen, your newest member of the Philadelphia 76ers. This town is mine, Kelly, never forget it. You can quote that. Now get the hell out of here,” he told the assembled reporters.

The media were then ushered off of WFC property at gunpoint by Furkan Aldemir.

A Chip Kelly and Lesean McCoy play, in one act

092313-kelly-chip-eagles-600Hey, Lesean, pssttttt…. I heard you were complaining about how bad this Winter has been in Philadelphia.

mccoyHey coach…uhhh….I guess it’s been a bit cold, yeah, nothing too bad.

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WELL ENJOY SPENDING THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN BUFFALO, YOU SON OF A BITCH! YEEEEEHAAAAA!

Chip Kelly

::Wink::

mccoy

Damnit.

My god, what is happening in this city. So many trades in the span of two weeks, my brain can’t handle it. Lesean McCoy to Buffalo, WHAT IS GOING ON? Kiko Alonso in an Eagles uniform, yet another Oregon player brought in my Chip? Sweet jesus…my heart can’t take this.