Chip Kelly must be furious this afternoon, as an anonymous Eagles front office employee has leaked a comprehensive list of available free agents who the organization will be targeting at the start of free agency on Tuesday, March 10.

The Eagles are widely expected to be one of the major players in free agency this year, as the team had over $50 million available to spend.

Here is the list of players the Eagles are reportedly going to try and ink this offseason.

Ndamukong Suh: Interior defensive lineman that will garner attention from teams throughout the league. Coveted for his ability to collapse the pocket and “accidentally” cheap shot the best players on an opposing team. His apology game is at a high level. Targeted by Chip Kelly for his ability to become hated by the fans, opponents and media with his chippy play throughout a season, so when he is cut a year from now the blow will be minimal.

Brian Orakpo: Edge rusher. Will feel the need for a frustratingly talented defender who will suffer a season ending injury by game three each year.

Jeremy Maclin – Star wide receiver who flourished under Kelly’s offense last year after signing a one-year deal. Is seemingly acceptably of Riley Cooper’s casual racism, which is a plus.

Cortland Finnegan – Veteran cornerback who will instantly become the most hated teammate in the organization. Will take the heat off of Riley Cooper.

Colt McCoy – Backup quarterback. Team will only sign McCoy if he will wear the #25, so fans will be compelled to keep their old Lesean McCoy jersey.

CJ Spiller – Running back released by Buffalo after completing a trade for Lesean McCoy. Possibly a target for the Eagles just to make the local media have a collective heart attack.

Wes Welker – Veteran wide receiver. Will be a perfect poster boy for the dangers of concussion when he can’t remember his own name in three years.