I hate this picture with every fiber of my being.
Philadelphia, PA – Billed as a brutal night of comedy for two local sports talks legends, guests at the Sports Roast of Angelo Cataldi and Howard Eskin, held Thursday night at the Crystal Tea Room in Philadelphia, were subjected to flat jokes and bad puns from local sports figures for nearly two hours.
However, the room was abuzz after an up and coming comic force really made its presence felt throughout the event.
Gahhhhhh!
Ghoulish, gargoyle-like radio host Angelo Cataldi expressed his utter disappointment at Sports Illustrated’s decision to place plus-size model Ashley Graham on the cover of its annual swimsuit edition during a segment of the WIP Morning show today.
Clutching a microphone in his liver spotted, gnarled hand, Cataldi wondered as to how this may have happened.
Cataldi discussed the publication’s decision to put Graham on the cover, spitting tiny flecks of his morning repast over his microphone cover, filling the studio with his halitosis as he decried the state of the publication’s once revered swimsuit issue.
The ghastly looking host leered at several young female interns and remarked how he would much rather see them in a bikini over Graham, as he picked at several scabs on his dry scalp before concluding his show.
At press time, Cataldi asked his co-hosts if they thought Graham had any respect for her own body, while at the same time he eagerly picked off a fungus ridden toenail that had been “hanging on by a thread” for the past several weeks.
Several Wingettes earlier this morning when cocaine supplies were still ample.
Philadelphia, PA – Details are slim at this point in time, but a Coggin Toboggan reporter on the scene of Wing Bowl 24 has relayed to our offices that the cocaine deposits doled out to Wingettes through the annual eating event have all but been depleted and the event still has several hours until completion.
Wing Bowl Wingettes, scantily clad young women from various strip clubs and fatherless homes throughout Philadelphia, have been used as cheerleaders for the competition and as eye-candy during each competitor’s grand entrance into the Wells Fargo Arena.
The young ladies have traditionally been willing to participate in the degrading performance as long as plenty of booger sugar has been available to numb feelings and cloud the senses.
Several hundred eight-balls are typically needed to give Wingettes the strength to tolerate thousands of drunken South Philadelphia louts screaming at them to show the crowd their tits.
“It’s a madhouse down here. These young ladies are jittery as hell and coming down fast. Eyes are becoming less cloudy and tensions are high. Things are going to get ugly,” our source has told us.
We’ll update readers as more information comes in.
The Coggin Toboggan has received information from its sources at both sports talk station about tomorrow’s popular sports talk shows. We have received some very rough prep sheets about what each show will be discussing tomorrow.
Obviously these could change, so if not all of the items are touched on during the shows you’ll know why.
94 WIP
Morning Show
Look at that punim!
I’m at an all day conference and I have a 30 minute break. Instead of chit chatting with potential sources who could give my career a real boost, I’ve decided to write something for my blog that makes me no money.
Five minutes ago I took to Twitter and said I would write ANY article suggested to me by a reader.
Dedicated reader KaboomKid7 came out of nowhere (a la Mankind from under the ring to drag the Undertaker down to hell) and Tweeted this story suggestion to me.
https://twitter.com/Kaboomkid7/status/664201429662482432
I said anything, and he was the first person to respond, so lets look into this question and determine, once and for all, if Glen Macnow is a cranky old man.
Philadelphia, PA – Howard Eskin’s bid to run for the Mayor of Philadelphia took a big hit yesterday, as the 94 WIP sports talk host was embroiled in a massive undercover sting at the Hilton on Penn’s Landing.
The man who claims he’s never had a bad day in his life certainly had a difficult one yesterday, as grainy black and white video cameras captured him speaking with an undercover Philadelphia police officer posing as a fur salesman.
The evidence is quite damning, as Eskin discusses the purchase of several faux fur coats with the undercover officer.
“Now this one right here is made of rat fur, but it looks exactly like chinchilla. Nobody will ever know the difference and I could let it go for about $100,” the officer tells Eskin, who nods in appreciation as he feels the fur of the garment.
Just one month after an anonymous source sent The Coggin Toboggan the ratings books for the end of August, ANOTHER anonymous, but different, source sent us the books for the first half of September and the leader may surprise you.
The two big players at each station, Josh Innes at 94 WIP and Mike Missanelli at 97.5 the Fanatic, AGAIN did not play into the top four ratings leaders for this month. Last month’s leader, Brian Haddad at 94 WIP, was far behind the ratings behemoth who dominated the first two weeks of September.
Big Daddy Graham, WIP host from 2 to 5 a.m., toppled ratings leader Haddad with a 23.6 share of the coveted 25-54 male demographic that is so highly sought after for advertising.
I’ve paid more attention to the Philadelphia sports talk landscape this year than I would care to admit, but the shows are an absolute goldmine for material that literally DOZENS of you read every single day. There are several brands of shows on 97.5 the Fanatic and 94 WIP and most of them follow the same format they’ve followed for years.
But then there are the outlier shows, like the 94 WIP mid day show, that seem to garner a lot of attention and vitriol for DARING to do something different. People can’t stand Josh Innes for trying anything new. They’d rather listen to the same nonsense day in and day out from comfortable hosts who follow the same formula each day.
And you know what? It works. These guys make a comfortable living doing the same thing every single day. So why can’t I get in on the action? This is a script of the GREATEST Philadelphia sports talk show currently not on the air. How can the two big stations in this city not contact me after reading this gold?
This is a microcosm of how the show will run each day. I guarantee it will bring in a 35 share every day (whatever that is).
I think the show would go a little something like this…..
Brian Haddad, new ratings powerhouse in Philadelphia sports talk radio?
The Coggin Toboggan received a game changing email this morning, as an anonymous source has leaked last month’s ratings book for the two major sports talk radio stations in Philadelphia and a surprise show is now on top.
The two previous leaders of each station, Josh Innes and Mike Missanelli, were second and third respectively in the 25-54 male demographic, each garnering a 6.3 share.
However, an anonymous source – using the simple pseudonym “B.H.” – emailed us a printed copy of what looked to be the official ratings book this morning. The results show that one host for 94 WIP shot up so far in the ratings that he is now dominating the Philadelphia sports talks scene.
The leaked ratings book shows Brian Haddad, 94 WIP host of Leading Off, the pregame show for the Philadelphia Phillies, cashed in a monstrous 12.9 share in the 25-54 male demographic for this past month.
Philadelphia, PA – The phones were ringing off the hook this morning at the 94 WIP studios, call screeners reported, as thousands of well meaning and optimistic Eagles fans hoped to express their well wishes and congratulations on a hard-fought game for their hometown squad.
“Sure it was disappointing, but you know what? They played their hearts out last night and I’m very proud of them. It’s just as good as winning, if you ask me.” said John from Fishtown, who called in around 7 a.m. this morning. “And Sam Bradford? Sure he had a rocky
start, but I believed in him all along and he showed you some good stuff. He didn’t get the victory, but how can you not be impressed by his comeback story? Does some great work for charity also.”
“My prayers go out to Cody Parkey. That kid tried his best and things just didn’t go his way, it’s not a big deal. What are you going to do? You can’t win every game,” he said, before excusing himself to hang up.
The Coggin Toboggan 