Monday Night Football

Unemployed Steve Weatherford spends two-hours perfecting Eagles slam tweet

Cool pose, bruh.

Cool pose, bruh.

New York, NY –  Steve Weatherford, unemployed punter, took to Twitter this afternoon and lambasted Philadelphia for its lack of championships.

The ex-professional punter, who carefully crafted and selected the wording to the numerous tweets he published yesterday and today, has plenty of time on his hands to perfect his trolling tweets as he is currently not good enough to cut it on any of the 32 NFL rosters.

The ex-punter, who is not in any way depressed or angered that no team wants his services, publicly supported the New York Giants on several social media platforms. His old team will come into Philadelphia for tonight’s Monday Night Football week 6 match up.


94 WIP Morning Show swamped with fair, level-headed callers this morning

ESPN_MNF_CLR_PosPhiladelphia, PA – The phones were ringing off the hook this morning at the 94 WIP studios, call screeners reported, as thousands of well meaning and optimistic Eagles fans hoped to express their well wishes and congratulations on a hard-fought game for their hometown squad.

“Sure it was disappointing, but you know what? They played their hearts out last night and I’m very proud of them. It’s just as good as winning, if you ask me.” said John from Fishtown, who called in around 7 a.m. this morning. “And Sam Bradford? Sure he had a rocky
start, but I believed in him all along and he showed you some good stuff. He didn’t get the victory, but how can you not be impressed by his comeback story? Does some great work for charity also.”

“My prayers go out to Cody Parkey. That kid tried his best and things just didn’t go his way, it’s not a big deal. What are you going to do? You can’t win every game,” he said, before excusing himself to hang up.


Clubber’s prediction for tonight: Pain


What’s your prediction for the game tonight?


Prediction? …. Pain.


Yes, pain is just one of many outcomes in the first Monday Night Football match up of the NFL season between the Philadelphia Eagles and Atlanta Falcons. If the Eagles much improved, but still untested, secondary can put the clamps down on Falcons wide receiving corps, than it could be a long night for Atlanta Quarterback Matt Ryan, who enters the seasons with a career 91.1 overall QB rating. Ryan has to improve on the 14 interceptions he tossed last year, especially as he will be without a clear cut first rate running back tonight with hobbled Devonta Freeman still nursing a strained hamstring. Reports from Atlanta are claiming he will play, but if not at 100% it could be a long night for any runner going up against the front seven of the Eagles defense.The Falcons will certainly be facing an uphill battle against the Eagles, whom many are predicting may make a long run into the playoffs this season and will certainly figure in as one of the premier NFC talents in this young season.


But really, if I can be serious for a moment, there have been far too many injuries in this early NFL season and the prevalence of concussion risk will always cast its dour shadow over the game. So tonight, I urge all participants to play hard and practice the fundamentals of heads up tackling that should be the cornerstone of every professional football players skill set. So lets have fun out there, keep it clean, and just remember that you will have a life after football and you don’t want it to be ruined by chronic traumatic encephalopathy. There’s more to life than just a silly game. Take it from me, Clubber Lang.