Minneapolis, Minnesota – Just days after arriving in Minnesota as part of a blockbuster trade over the weekend, the Vikings were forced to place Sam Bradford on the IR after an elk wandered onto the practice field and trampled an unaware Bradford into the turf.
Bradford, who was wearing headphones during the pre-practice stretch, did not hear warning from his teammates as a wild elk somehow broke into the practice facility and stampeded towards the 28-year-old quarterback.
Philadelphia, PA – Just moments after a deal sent Sam Bradford to the Minnesota Vikings for a first round pick in 2017 and a fourth round pick in 2018, an overly confident Chase Daniel proclaimed that the “mother fucking era of Chase Daniel has begun.”
Daniel, who called a press conference on his own 10 minutes after the Bradford trade was announced, donned a pair of Ray Ban sunglasses before confidently addressing the media in attendance.
Doug Pederson feels he has a good play-calling system in place now.
Philadelphia, PA – On the morning of their first 2016 preseason contest against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, newly minted Eagles Head Coach Doug Pederson has begun the process of sending in his first series of plays to quarterback Sam Bradford, with the hope that they’ll arrive by the start of the game.
Pederson, who has already faced criticism from fans and the media for his antiquated method of calling a play into the offense, said he has corrected his methods.
“We reviewed our play calling process and we feel like we really have the system down now. Should be a good game tonight, better start calling in those plays now,” Pederson said.
Oh good lord, what have I done?
Aspen, Colo. – Having gone through an entire last week of wedding preparations under the “probable” tag, Eagles quarterback and about to be newlywed Sam Bradford has been downgraded to “doubtful” this morning, according to his best man.
Sam, who last said he was very confident about his upcoming performance at today’s wedding to fiance Emma Lavy, reportedly had a debilitating panic attack this morning in front of his groomsmen and best man.
Philadelphia, PA – As the Eagles continue their OTA workouts after the holiday weekend, several analysts are lauding rookie quarterback Carson Wentz for his ability to pick up head coach Doug Pederson’s offense quicker than either quarterbacks Sam Bradford or Chase Daniel.
However, Wentz will not be winning any popularity contests with his teammates anytime soon, as the young quarterback is reportedly ruffling the feathers of a number of veterans on the team.
Philadelphia, PA – Day two of Sam Bradford returning to practice with the Philadelphia Eagles resulted in much of the same as day one, with the temperamental quarterback openly pouting in the locker room and loudly having cell phone conversations with his “besties” well within earshot of his teammates.
The quarterback didn’t openly complain about how he was treated to his teammates or the front office, but could be heard grumbling to himself as the team ran through drills that “nobody cares” about “what I want” out of this situation.
Philadelphia, PA – Optimism ran high at the Eagles voluntary workouts Monday morning, as franchise quarterback Sam Bradford returned to the facility to practice with his teammates after missing a week of workouts when he demanded to be traded.
However, the high spirits were quickly diminished as Bradford didn’t speak to a single one of his teammates and turned his back on questions from head coach Doug Pederson about how he was doing.