Eagles backup corner Buckley Chillingsworth disappointed team won Sunday afternoon

Chillingsworth file photo.

New York, NY – Little used and little known fourth string corner back Buckley Chillingsworth expressed his utter disappointment Sunday after the Eagles won their final game against the Giants, and thus do not have to play a game in London next year.

It had been determined that the loser of the Eagles and Giants contest would have to play a game in London during the 2016-2017 season.

Chillingsworth, a graduate of the London Finishing and Etiquette School for Esteemed Young Gentlemen, admitted to the media Monday morning he was less than happy he would not play a game in front of foggy London town next year.

(more…)

Happy New Year from the Coggin Toboggan!

202b-2bthe2bmillennium-mkv_snapshot_13-11_255b2013-12-31_11-57-28255d Happy New Year from The Coggin Toboggan! I’m sure many of you are in my shoes now…hungover, pantsless, wondering where you can score some heroin…it’s a great way to start 2016!

So while you’re recovering and hoping that the blood on the hood of your car is just a dog, take a few and revisit some of our funniest articles from 2016.

(more…)

Complete Philly Coverage and The Coggin Toboggan, a rag tag bunch of misfits

CPC To kick 2016 off on the right foot, we have decided to support and publicize another local Philadelphia sports blog that we enjoy.

Complete Philly Coverage approached us about a week ago and proposed a partnership of sorts. Do we want them to publicize some of our articles? Yes of course. Would we publicize some of their articles? Definitely.

It’s the ultimate underdog story.

(more…)

All good things must come to an end

It was one year ago today that I decided to start this blog. 383 posts later and here we are, on the precipice of 2016.

When I started The Coggin Toboggan I wanted to see how dedicated I could be to giving the City of Philadelphia an alternative news source that would be unafraid to tell the real story, and I believe we did that during our time serving the City of Brotherly Love.

I wanted to prove to myself that I could stick with a project for an entire year, that I could be disciplined enough to do something that people would enjoy, and not get anything in return.

I believe I did that over these last 365 days.

But, as the headline says, all good things in this life must come to an end. It was a great year, we made fun of a ton of people, wrote some good stuff, hopefully entertained you with a hot take or two, and perhaps even made a name for ourselves in a very crowded and busy sports blog market just trying to crush each other for hits and notoriety.

We made it and we made a name for ourselves, generating a nice following of fans who enjoy our ridiculous brand of humor and horrendous takes on the idiocy of sports in Philadelphia.

Hopefully our readers understand what a toll it is to write all of these article. I wrote all 383 over the past year, it was not easy and it was a complete grind.

With a new baby on the way, this just makes my decision much, much easier.

It’s tough to make this announcement, and I do so with a very heavy hart, but after the break I have embedded a perfect promo from the legendary Ric Flair that will explain our situation to our dedicated readers.

(more…)

Howie Roseman facing most arduous challenge of his career

NFL: Kansas City Chiefs at Philadelphia Eagles Philadelphia, PA – A stiff and sweaty Howie Roseman has successfully gotten his office chair up to the fourth floor at Lincoln Financial Field, after being told by owner Jeffrey Lurie that he would again be involved in player development following the termination of head coach Chip Kelly.

Sources have confirmed Roseman began the journey around 10:30 a.m. this morning, slowly rolling the chair up the long ramps of the deserted stadium, stopping numerous times to wipe sweat from his pasty brow.

(more…)

Les Bowen currently hiding in giant wooden crate to be shipped to Chip Kelly’s house

Philadelphia, PA – Perhaps frustrated at being stymied for a comment by Chip Kelly’s girlfriend at their Haddonfield home, Les Bowen is currently sitting inside a stiflingly hot and stuffy wooden crate that is en route to Kelly’s house.

The veteran reporter was denied entrance into Kelly’s home last night and could not get a comment from the recently fired head coach.

A fuming Bowen reportedly came up with the ill-advised scheme early this morning after downing a fifth of Jim Bean. He forced his Daily News co-workers to stuff him inside the crate and have it immediately shipped to Kelly’s home.

Several co-workers balked at Bowen’s request to be “greased up” before squeezing into the crate.

(more…)

BREAKING NEWS: Chip Kelly fired for prank phone calls to Jeffrey Lurie

What a prankster!

Philadelphia, PA – Following the bombshell tonight that Eagles Head Coach Chip Kelly had been fired, rumors are slowly trickling in that make the personnel decision more clear.

To perhaps stem the rumor mill, Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie had confirmed reports that Kelly was fired for making several harassing and patently unoriginal prank phone calls to Lurie in the past two weeks.

(more…)

The Coggin Toboggan has intercepted Tony Wroten’s letter to Santa Claus

011514_tony-wroten_600 The Coggin Toboggan has acquired a copy of Tony Wroten’s letter to Santa Claus, which the recently cut point-guard allegedly mailed to Santa in early December.

It looks as if Jolly Old Saint Nick answered Tony’s Christmas wish.

Children around the world have taken delight in the knowledge that this letter PROVES beyond a shadow of a doubt that Santa Claus does exist.

The brief letter is after the jump:

(more…)

Chip Kelly, Tom Coughlin agree to rough touch for final game

092313-kelly-chip-eagles-600 Philadelphia, PA – As both teams are out of contention for the playoffs and no unnecessary injuries are needed in the final game of the season, head coaches Chip Kelly and Tom Coughlin agreed to play under “rough touch” rules.

No tackling to the ground will be allowed for the final, utterly pointless game between the two horrendously underachieving teams.

(more…)

Eagles don’t make playoffs, our athletes are hGH taking morons…2015 can’t end soon enough

I would say we are, yes.

2015 is the worst year I can remember experiencing in this city. The Phillies lose close to 100 games, the Eagles miss out on the playoffs with one of the most HATEABLE rosters in franchise history, the 76ers are historically terrible, and the Flyers are far and away the only bright spot in the city and they’re three games over .500.

It has not been a great year for sports in this city.

(more…)