The mere fact that Michael Wilbon is rallying against the 76ers gives me hope for the series

Michael Wilbon (who is still a thing at ESPN apparently) took a few minutes out of his busy schedule of telling people he knows Michael Jordan to express his UTMOST DISPLEASURE at T.J. “Billy Hoyle” McConnell’s OUTRAGEOUSLY DISRESPECTFUL game 4 moment when he dared to stare at his hand after torching Terry “I look like I should be fat” Rozier.

Philly.com has the transcript of the moment from yesterday’s PTI:

“I believe the Sixers are going to become hateable for the rest of the nation very soon,” Wilbon told co-host Tony Kornheiser. “Some little dude named T.J. is looking at his hand like he’s Shaq. Here’s what’s going to happen to T.J. in the next game: Terry Rozier is going to run over him like a truck, and he’s not going to do anything.”

Just bad point after bad point streaming out of Wilbon’s gaping maw. One, everyone already hates the 76ers. Two, Shaq is so cross-eyed there’s no way he could have ever stared at his hand that closely. Three, Terry Rozier is going to be far too busy jumping up at Joel Embiid like Little Mac with a star punch to do anything about McConnell’s antics.

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T.J. McConnell is Billy Hoyle

Before the Celtics could count their money and head over to the Sizzler for some surf and turf, the slow, white, geeky chump T.J. McConnell hustled the shit out of the Celtics and sent them packing back up to Boston for a series that suddenly feels just a TAD bit different than it did Saturday night.

T.J. McConnell is the biggest hustler since Billy Hoyle terrorized the Venice Beach courts in White Men Can’t Jump.

Someone check the off-shore betting sites or the sports books in Vegas. Were any massive bets made on the 76ers to win the series after they fell down 3-0 after Saturday night? If there were you can bet they were made by McConnell.

He suckered them in like Billy Hoyle hustling Sidney Deane.

Billy Hoyle: “See, the thing is you guys look at me me, you see the backwards hat, the gray socks, the funky outfit and you say, now, this guy’s a chump, am I right? A fucking geek, exactly. But what you don’t realize is it ain’t easy…it is hard goddamn work making something this pretty look like a chump, or a geek, so I must be doing it for a reason….”

Does he need money to pay off a gambling debt from his college days? Does he have a gorgeous Latino girlfriend with the world’s most annoying voice? That remains to be seen…but you know he can definitely hear Jimi.

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Just give me one win, 76ers

Like a terminally ill person on his deathbed who just wants to see the ocean one last time, all I’m asking for is one 76ers win before my plug is pulled and all I have left is the unending darkness and empty void of a summer filled with nothing but the Phillies.

Get me that win and then you can roll me into the deep end of the pool. I swear I’ll go happy with a minimum amount of fuss.

This season can’t end, because then all we’ll have left is the Phillies. A summer with the Phillies is like being stuck in limbo, but worse. At least in limbo you know you may have a chance at ascending to heaven after your sins are washed away. After this weekend with the Phillies, I don’t think any of us believe we have a chance to get to the playoffs with this squad.

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Is Meek Mill bad luck for the 76ers?

Unlike Christine Flowers, we’re a very pro-Meek Mill blog here at the Toboggan. Huge fans of that one song of his, “Dreams and Nightmares,” and his other hits…uhh…hmmm…okay so we’re not HUGE fans but the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles loved him so he’s A-OK in our book.

HOWEVER, we hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’ve noticed a disturbing trend since his release from prison after a possibly ill-willed judge sentenced him to an extraordinarily harsh prison term after probation offense.

To be clear about this, we’re very happy Meek Mill is a free man. He was imprisoned on a bullshit parole violation by a judge who may or may not have had an axe to grind, and we’re happy he’s out.

Facts are facts though. The 76ers are only playing .500 basketball since his release. While he was incarcerated? The 76ers were winning 75% of their postseason games, posting a sterling 3-1 record.

I will say, however, that the 76ers are 1-0 when Meek Mill attends a game and he’s going tonight up in Boston. Will this tip the scales in his favor?

Coincidence? Definitely. Should we all overreact? OH MY YES.

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If you’re jumping ship now, you’re WEAK

Are you guys kidding me? Are we really doing this after ONE game? The 76ers have one of their best seasons in years, a core of young stars and grizzled veterans cobble together a 52 win season when most of us had them going .500 and we’re ready to jump ship after ONE loss?

If you’re nervous, you’re weak. Get over it.

Here’s what I’ve heard within 12 hours of the 76ers loss.

  • The 76ers need to hire Erik Spoelstra/Tom Thibodeau/Gregg Popovich as their head coach next season. How are they going to do this, exactly, when they’re all under contract? Put a burlap sack over their head and shanghai them to Philadelphia?
  • Trade next year’s first round pick, Fultz, Covington, and Saric for Kawhi Leonard. Great idea! Let’s give up a king’s ransom for the one player in the history of the NBA that hated playing for Gregg Popovich and faked an injury all year to get off the team. Sounds like the perfect fit for this roster.
  • Complete outrage at the fact that Markelle Fultz didn’t get garbage time minutes in the loss last night. THIS PROVES BRETT BROWN THINKS HE’S MENTALLY WEAK. This is a lost year for Fultz, people, if he’s still mentally blocked next year we can push the panic button.

If you thought any of these three things last night, I weep for you. Have you people learned NOTHING from the past several months? It’s a new era in Philadelphia, we shouldn’t only derive joy from the negative anymore. This is a goddamn city of champions now, so why are wailing and gnashing our teeth after one bad loss to a Celtics team that shot the goddamn lights out?

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Colin Cowherd is a parasite and Scott O’Neil is letting him feast on the 76ers essence

Oh Scott, did you have to bow under the pressure of a national sports talk moron and go against 99% of your fanbase’s wishes?

I mean, normally sending a personalized jersey to someone who has come around on the franchise would be a fine thing, but did you have to do it with him? With Colin “perfect smokey eye” Cowherd?

Maybe the only other person you could have recruited onto the 76ers bandwagon would have been Skip Bayless, but not even you could be that tone deaf to try and curry his favor….right?

RIGHT?

It’s not about someone trashing The Process…it’s not about an us vs. them mentality…it’s about Colin Cowherd being a pig-headed moron who is desperately trying to glom onto something that is good and pure, someone trying to wriggle his gray, clammy talons into a dominant organism and feast off its vitality.

He’s a worthless pilot fish, eating the morsels left over from the king of the sea.

You don’t acknowledge those parasites, Scott, and you especially don’t serve them free seven-course banquets when they’re ABHORRED by the fans that spend good money to see your team.

I’ll only accept this if the jersey is infected with ebola. Okay, maybe not ebola, but at least lice. Just festering with lice. A parasite being overrun by other parasites. OH SWEET IRONY.

If I see him sporting that jersey on Twitter I’ll just lose it…until the 76ers win game 1 and then I’ll completely forget about forgettable Mr. Cowherd.

Do you want some 76ers merchandise that won’t make you vomit upon the sight of it? Go buy some Phila Unite t-shirts and long-sleeved t-shirts. They’re awesome and I personally guarantee Colin Cowherd has never been within one square-mile of their presence.

Click the link below to buy.

Philadelphia 76ers Phila Unite Playoff Shirt

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And with the 32nd pick in the 2018 NFL draft, the Philadelphia Eagles select…

…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHO THEY PICK!

Suck my dick, rest of the NFL. Suck it long and suck it hard, because this may be the last time in my lifetime the Eagles select 32nd overall in the NFL draft so I am going to get my insults in and I’m going to get them in as often as I can. I hope it’s not the last time, but just in case I’m going to gloat as much as I can leading up to the draft tonight.

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