What happens when Andy Reid beats the Eagles in Super Bowl LII?

Dateline: FEB. 4, 2018. Minneapolis, Minn. 10:37 p.m.

Joe Buck: “Harrison Butker lines up from the 20, a 37 yard field goal to send the Chiefs home with the Lombardi trophy…two seconds remaining, Eagles 24, Chiefs 23. Remember, this Chiefs drive started from their own 2 yard line with just 2 minutes remaining. A brilliant drive from Alex Smith and the Chiefs, with some tremendous play calling from Reid, perfect use of his three remaining timeouts.

Troy Aikman: “Just an unbelievable job from Smith and Reid to put the Chiefs in this position.”

Buck: “This for the game. The snap is good…the kick is up…anddddddddddd…..IT’S GOOD! AND THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS ARE YOUR SUPER BOWL LII CHAMPIONS, BEATING THE EAGLES BY A SCORE OF 23 TO 24. OH MY.”

Aikman: “And it couldn’t have happened to a better coach than Andy Reid, against the team he began his head coaching career with. Finally answering the criticisms and getting over the hump, tolling the bell with a masterful, clock eating drive. Using all of his remaining timeouts in brilliant fashion. Just a perfectly called final two minutes by Reid to become the 2018 NFL champions. Oh my.”

I have had a vision. I have foreseen how I will die.

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Colin Cowherd announces he will be at Sunday’s Eagles game. What should be done?

Well well well, look at what we have here. Human ventriloquist dummy Colin Cowherd announced today on Twitter (if he’s not lying, which he most likely is) he will be in attendance at Sunday’s Eagles game, sitting somewhere in section 217.

The proof, as the famous saying goes, is in the Twitter of the plastic-faced, ratings hungry dullard:

I’m SURE he’s lying and will not actually be at the game Sunday. Would you show up in front of 40,000 rabid Philadelphians who have been drinking in the Jetro lots since 5 a.m., just a mere 6 days since you spouted out this nonsense:

But if he is…what should be done about it? What wrath shall be brought down upon one of the most hated talking heads in America?

I hesitate to suggest this course of action because of its…well….intense nature, but should we really be sympathetic when it comes to Cowherd? Doesn’t he deserve to be put in his place and finally pay the price for all of foul and vile statements he has made in the past?

I think so, but this suggestion is akin to dropping a nuclear bomb. It will bring about victory, but at what cost? What destruction will be wrought from our victory? Do we need to ruin a man’s life over something said on a poorly rated and low viewed radio/television show?

Yes. Yes we do.

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UPDATE: Is the Embiid jogging video an ad? 100% yes…BUT MAYBE NOT?

UPDATE: Well well well, what do we have here? Another video emerging this afternoon of Joel Embiid playing tennis? Weird….so he was running in the first one, and now he’s playing tennis? Boy…I wonder if there is some kind of company out there that may make something for athletes to wear when they’re playing different sports….something to cover their feet so they don’t get blisters? Maybe a cross training type of footwear for athletes?

DON’T EVER DOUBT ME. Read our original post below.

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You poor gullible saps. You’re all getting played, and you’re all getting played HARD.

You’ve likely seen the video taken by a Lyft driver last night of Joel Embiid jogging along Pine Street near Rittenhouse, but if you haven’t here it is:

The video has already made the rounds on Twitter, YouTube and Reddit. Wow, Joel Embiid jogging on the streets of Philadelphia…he’s just like us!

Open your eyes, people. Free your mind and the truth about JoJo will follow.

It’s an ad for Lyft! Come on… how obvious can it be? If the Ed Wood-esque acting (A man of his size and stature would tend to jog like that at night by himself! Cut, print, perfect, let’s move on!) doesn’t tip you off, then surely the idea of Embiid jogging by himself at night in a pair of 76ers shorts should…it’s staged. It’s an advertisement.

I’M ON TO YOU LYFT. The video is just a little too perfect for my liking. The driver just happens to have his dash cam on? He got a Lyft request at that exact same moment that sent him on the same direction as Embiid,? UH HUH, SURE.

Oh, and what’s this? Lyft has started to unveil a new ad campaign featuring A-List celebrities like Tilda Swinton, Jordan Peele, and Jeff Bridges?

And what is their new slogan? “It matters how you get there.” Remind you a little bit of THE PROCESS, doesn’t it? It certainly matters how the 76ers got to their bright future, does it not? THE AD WRITES ITSELF.

However, I will admit that my theory does have a few kinks…namely that I talked to the Lyft driver (Evanbg994 on reddit and @evanbowengaddy on Twitter) and he assured me it was NOT an advertisement for Lyft.

Just what a Lyft employee would say, if you ask me.

You can see our riveting conversation after the jump.

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Is the Philadelphia media failing Markelle Fultz?

If you watched the Blue/White 76ers scrimmage yesterday from the Palestra than you’re likely trying to come to terms with some unpleasant facts. The highly coveted #1 overall pick was anything but Sunday afternoon. Where were the head turning highlights we expect from a franchise changing prospect that Bryan Colangelo had to give up a boatload to draft? All we saw yesterday was a few mid-range jumpers, some technically sound passes, and an affable attitude from one of the supposed “top talents” on the roster.

Where were the rim rattling dunks? The no-look passes? The triple doubles? The buzzer beaters and the killer attitude? Is this what the 76ers gave up a boatload of picks for? Those picks could have possibly been used to draft the NEXT Markelle Fultz. They’re valuable assets.

Instead we saw someone who wasn’t giving 100% out there. I didn’t see him set any jaw-rattling screens or take any violent charges to give his squad a leg up. We didn’t see any of those.

Instead we saw Fultz help Ben Simmons up from the floor after the two collided at mid court halfway through the scrimmage. Are you going to do that in a game that counts, Markelle? Help up an opponent in the heat of battle?

My JV basketball coach always told us that “You play like your practice.” He was a wise man and I’m sure he was shaking his head in disgust at what he saw yesterday.

Fultz evidently does not yet have what it takes to succeed in this city, so why isn’t the media letting him know it?

Instead of hearing it from the front page of the Inquirer sports section, this young man is being trumped up as a franchise savior by the Philadelphia media.  In years past they’d be nitpicking this young man to death for “not showing enough” in his first appearance in front of the hometown heavies.

It’s called tough love and it helped shape so many of this city’s past greats into the legends they became.

Donovan McNabb. Charles Barkley. Eric Lindros. Mike Schmidt. Ask them and they’ll tell you that the reporters, journalists, and sports talk hosts in this city are 100% what made them into the hall of fame players they became, not their natural talent. They had to learn how to play in this city, and it made them better athletes, and more importantly, better men.

But not Fultz. Suddenly this town has kid gloves when it comes to handling the #1 overall pick.

Take this, for instance. Last week during media day Fultz spent an inordinate amount of time neglecting his media duties, choosing to eat Chick-Fil-A instead. Last I heard, Chick-Fil-A isn’t exactly part of a balanced diet for a highly-tuned athlete. Do you think Chip Kelly would have stood for this if he were still around? Say what you will about his tenure, but those Eagles were in tip-top condition.

But what does the media do? Does the hard-nailed Philadelphia sports media take the young Fultz to task and teach him a valuable lesson? Nope. It enables the youngsters obsession with fast food and makes a joke of it.

Where is the Philadelphia sports media I used to know that would nitpick every decision he makes and attribute it to his play on the court? Where are the sports talk hosts that would criticize everything a player did 24 hours a day, and then claim the athlete “doesn’t know what Philadelphia is about” when he dared to question the media’s negative portrayal of him?

It’s gone, and it’s instead replaced with this:

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Should Doug Pederson be criticized for not getting his best offensive option more involved?

The best coaches in the NFL play to their players’ strengths and hide their players’ weaknesses. A coach doesn’t mold his team in his vision, but he molds his vision to his team.

A coach like Bill Belichick sees what his players do well, puts them in a position that plays to their strengths, and limits their exposure to hide their deficiencies.

It’s an indomitable fact. This is what successful coaches do and how good teams win. So, why is Doug Pederson refusing to showcase the best offensive option the Eagles have and limiting their explosive scoring potential?

Yes, the Eagles won, but it’s more of a concern that Pederson can’t see the forest for the trees.

It makes no sense. Is he being stubborn? Does he not see what he has in front of him? Either way, it’s a huge concern moving forward in the season.

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Bryan Colangelo has an obvious tell. Does it spell doom for the 76ers?

Bryan Colangelo has an obvious tell, and it spells doom for the 76ers. Can you spot it? What’s the key difference between these two pictures?

At first glance, they look similar. Hell, he’s even wearing the same blue blazer and white button-down combination…but look at the collars. The picture on the left is Colangelo from this morning’s media day session where he stammered his way through an “update” on Joel Embiid’s health. Sure, he’s not ready for 5-on-5 yet, but is on track for their “intended goal” to participate in the regular season.

The picture on the right is when he was able to introduce the Sixers #1 overall pick Markelle Fultz to the media.

Now, notice the collars in both pictures….the collar on the right is tickling his jawbone, it’s exuberant, full of life, peacocking its way into the hearts and minds of the fans everywhere.

Look at the collar on the left. Definitely doesn’t come close to his jawbone. It’s wilted, limp, almost sallow. It’s sickly, unconfident, decidedly un-starched.

The conclusion? Colangelo’s collar height and collar vivacity, its “joie de vivre,” if you will, is his tell.

The collar on the right is his good news collar. Coincidence that he wore it while showcasing his greatest triumph as yet with the 76ers by procuring Markelle Fultz? I think not.

The collar on the left is his bad news collar. A vague timetable for Embiid’s return, denial of showcasing Jah for a trade, making excuses for why they’re signing front court has beens….he’s lying and he shows it through his collar height.

He knows something else, he just isn’t saying it verbally. Come clean with us, Bryan, we deserve it. You’re not fooling anyone.

LOOK TO THE COLLAR FOR YOUR ANSWERS.

Does anybody trust the 76ers at this point when it comes to injuries?

If you’re reading this, you’ve likely talked yourself down off from a very high ledge or taken the noose off from around your neck and come to grips with the fact that Joel Embiid STILL has not been cleared to play 5-on-5.

(Not to brag, but I did predict this would happen earlier this morning)

The news broke today during Brett Brown’s lunch with the media session and you can bet your ass Marcus Hayes immediately started stress eating steamer tray after steaming tray of chicken parmesan.

Does anyone have any shred of a doubt left that Joel Embiid will not be ready for the start of the season? Is it that surprising that the team has NOT been forthcoming about one of their player’s health? After he injured himself in January, the 76ers said he didn’t have a torn meniscus…until, well, they reported that he did indeed have a torn meniscus, but that it wouldn’t require surgery.

Until, well, it did require surgery in March.

The 76ers haven’t given an update on Embiid’s health all summer, despite every indication that he SHOULD be completely healed by now from his March 24th meniscus tear surgery.

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