Philadelphia would be burning if Andy Reid won a Super Bowl first

Congratulations on the Super Bowl victory, Andy Reid! Thank god the Eagles won one first or you’d be the most hated man in all of Philadelphia.

Shy of Andy actually winning a Super Bowl with the Eagles, this is by far the best circumstance for him to win one (from our perspective anyways). The Eagles got theirs first, enough time passed between Reid’s inglorious exit and his own championship, and we all get to revel in his success without wanting to slit our throats if he won one before we got to experience a parade.

Reid perfectly pulls off a comeback in the fourth quarter, engineering two quick scoring drives in the last nine minutes of the Super Bowl and managing the clock to PERFECTION to win his first championship…just imagine if he did that before the Eagles captured a Super Bowl of their own?

WIP and the Fanatic wouldn’t have to schedule any programming for the next decade. Enraged callers would provide all the entertainment their hosts could ever want.

WHY COULDN’T REID DO THAT FOR US IN 2004?! HE DIDN’T WANT IT ENOUGH IN PHILADELPHIA! MCNABB PUKED! REID SUCKS!

But now? We have our championship. Reid is a lovable, clutzy footnote in our franchise’s history, and we can enjoy his Lombardi Trophy without wanting to connect a hose to our car’s exhaust pipe and taking a nap in the garage.

So congratulations Andy, from all of us here in Philadelphia. Don’t eat too many cheeseburgers and we all look forward to you mismanaging the clock against the Eagles and losing the Super Bowl next season.

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