Josh Innes doing his best Spike Eskin impersonation.
Have you ever wanted to listen to a sports talk radio show with three hosts, where one speaks for about 90% of the on-air time, the second gamely tries to play along with whatever antics are planned for day, and the third over laughs at EVERY SINGLE JOKE said during the four-hour program?
Well ladies and gentlemen, the newly (re-re-RE) formatted 94 WIP mid-day show is for you!
Philadelphia, PA – Citing a need to become stronger and getting back to his roots, Josh Innes revealed today he spent his previous week off the radio secluded in a desolate cabin deep in the Pocono mountains.
Innes needed to get away after his longtime friend and co-host Tony Bruno was killed in the ring (retired) last week after decades on air.
Philadelphia, PA – Perhaps looking for some damage control a day after a conversation with Jim Salisbury, Ruben Amaro Jr. took to the airwaves on Philadelphia media and claimed the CSN Philly reporter severely misquoted him in the now infamous story where Amaro said fans don’t understand the game.
He first claimed he was misquoted Monday morning, in an on-air appearance with WIP host Howard Eskin.
“Howard, I never said the fans ‘don’t understand the game,’ that’s just not true,” Amaro said. “What I really told Jim Salisbury is that I don’t understand how 99% of the mouth-breathing fans in this town can support a family when they’re this fucking stupid and inept.”
Eskin abruptly turned off Amaro’s microphone and quickly ended the segment, going into a hasty live read for Steven Singer. Even though is microphone was off, Amaro could be heard in the background over Eskin complaining that “If these retarded fans think Nola is going to turn this shipwreck around, they should take a long walk off a short pier.”
Amaro continued his apology tour, appearing on 97.5 The Fanatic with Mike Missanelli in the afternoon.
“As I said earlier, Mike, I was misquote. I never said the fans ‘bitch and complain because we don’t have a plan.’ I would never say this,” Amaro said. “No, I actually said I get tired of hearing these inbred morons bitching and complaining about their pathetic lives when they’re in MY stadium, when they should be drinking themselves to death and spending money in our concession stands. Fuck these pieces of garbage. How DARE they insult Ruben, I am a god in this horrific town.”
Missanelli was too busy daydreaming about his cat to dump out of Amaro’s tantrum and was immediately released from his contract at the end of the show.
As of press time, Amaro Jr. flipped off a number of booing fans outside of The Fanatic and was pulled over after running a red light. He was charged to the fullest extent of the law, much to the delight of everyone in Philadelphia and South Jersey.
Philadelphia, PA – Jon Marks of 97.5 the Fanatic commented this afternoon on the news that former 94.1 WIP host Anthony Gargano would be joining him in a new morning show leading into Mike Missanelli in the afternoons.
Marks said it would be an absolute pleasure to work with Gargano and for him to be unceremoniously fired after 6 months when rating improvements are not instantaneous.
“Working with the Cuz will be a great moment in my career, and I especially look forward to seeing him receiving his walking papers in just a few months,” Marks said, a smile on his face. “What a day that will be when the station manager marches us into his office, notices that we haven’t been able to improve ratings in a very short amount of time, and for him to blame everything on Gargano and send him packing.”
News broke this afternoon and social media was abuzz. Sports fan on Twitter and Facebook both expressed their desire to hear Gargano again, albeit it on another station, and were absolutely giddy in anticipation of when he would be let go of his contract.
“I missed the Cuz on the radio, it’s a far better town with him in it,” said Johnny Loubatz, an avid sports talk fan. “And I will absolutely shit my pants in a few months when he is no longer allowed on Fanatic premises.”
As of press time, Gargano was stockpiling cardboard boxes for when he has to clean out his desk.
Philadelphia, PA – Misty eyed and holding back sobs, recently let go 97.5 FM radio hosts Nick Kayal and Sean Brace left the station vowing that they would “show them all” and would “create the best sports talk station this city has ever seen.”
Kayal and Brace, tears streaming down their faces, vowed they would make 97.5 FM regret its decision.
“We’ll show you…sniff….we will show you all! We’re smart, we were passed over!” Brace said, a hand around Kayal as they packed up their mediocre belongings. “We were passed over! We’ll show you, we’ll show all of you!”
As the two exited the company building, Brace reportedly keyed Mike Missanelli’s Toyota Tercel as he ran down the parking lot. Loud sobs were heard from the two as they got into their respective vehicles and vowed they would show the world they had been wronged.
“We’ll start our own station…give us a few years and we’ll be fine. I know my stuff, so does Sean, we’re going to get back on top, you know we will!” Kayal said, his eyes bloodshot from the nonstop crying.
As of press time, Brace had completed an application to Chik-Fil-A and Kayal was cleaning out the gutters of his neighbor’s home to earn $15.
Oh well, fired again. Maybe Breakfast on Broad will be better?
Philadelphia, PA – In a surprise turn of events, Anthony Gargano, former sports talk radio host on 94.1 WIP for many years before his release in late 2014, co-hosted the afternoon drive with Mike Missanelli on 97.5 FM yesterday.
“We are here to change the face of Philadelphia sports talk radio! We are looking forward to entertaining Philadelphia fans for years to come!” Missanelli said. “And now I’m receiving word that Anthony has been fired. Anthony, please leave the studio right now.”
Gargano was then handed a shredded copy of his new contract and told to vacate the premises immediately.
“Hey, he gave it a good shot, but Gargano just didn’t cut it on 97.5 the Fanatic,” said Matt Nahigian, program direct for the station. “We felt we got a good enough overview of him as a potential host from his four hours of programming with us. Now get the hell out of here.”
Gargano, a self-proclaimed lover of meats, was escorted by security from the station’s premises before his belongings were strewn about One Bala Plaza. One of the guards punted a copy of Gargano’s book, “NFL Unplugged: The Brutal, Brilliant world of Professional Football” into a nearby creek before the fired host could pick it up off the ground.
The day was not completely lost, however, as Rob Ellis, former 94.1 WIP host and a former co-host with Gargano, offered him an internship on his new morning television show, Breakfast on Broad.
Ellis warned Gargano the position it would most likely only last a month or two.
“Oh, I fully expect the show to be cancelled by then,” a confident Ellis said.
Mike Missanelli is in trouble again for some controversial tweets about deceased UNC head coach Dean Smith.
Philadelphia, PA – Controversial sports talk host Mike Missanelli apologized Sunday afternoon after he published several insensitive tweets following the death of college basketball legend Dean Smith.
At 11:15 a.m. Sunday morning, Missanelli posted a tweet from his account @MikeyMiss975 that several University of North Carolina fans found insulting.
“@MikeyMiss975 – Hey UNC fans: Time to put Dean Smith into the ground, because he is TOAST.”
Missanelli said Smith was not dead at the time of his tweet, and only posted the message when he saw an update on a news ticker in downtown Philadelphia.
“Look, say what you will, but when I tweeted about Dean Smith he was ONLY in a coma. I had no idea he was actually deceased, ok? I think UNC fans are really taking this out of context. I apologize if people are being oversensitive and took it the wrong way.”
Missanelli posted several tweets apologizing to UNC fans, but seemed to dig himself an even deeper hole.
“@MIkeyMiss975 – The old codger was still hooked up to the ventilator when I was going out to my car and tweeted that. I had no idea. I apologize.”
“@MikeyMiss975 – How did I know his surviving family members would see my tweet? Just calm down, ok?”
“@MikeyMiss975 – He’s dead now, he didn’t see it, what’s the big deal?”
Missanelli said he plans to honor Smith on Monday afternoon’s show and will attend the mass ceremony for Smith.
UPDATE:
Eyewitnesses at the Smith funeral report Missanelli accidentally tipped over the coach’s coffin and punched his surviving wife in the face when she asked him to leave.
Bruno (left) and Innes are back and will be joined by 8 new co-hosts.
Philadelphia, PA – One day after firing both Josh Innes and Tony Bruno from the afternoon drive time slot, 94 WIP program director Spike Eskin announced the duo has been rehired and will once again man the airwaves from 1 to 6 p.m.
Current host Anthony Gargano, who appeared on the air for one day, was fired. Rob Ellis, his co-host, has been moved to a bi-monthy 3 a.m. show, Eskin said.
“We feel Josh and Tony are the perfect fit for the 1 to 6 p.m. slot and will definitely challenge Mike MIssanelli for the number one spot in the ratings,” Eskin said during a press conference. “Plus, we think their new co-hosts will really add a lot to their unique brand of sports talk radio.”
Joining Bruno and Innes on a daily basis will be current 94 WIP host Glen Macnow, former host Steve Martorano, former Eagles great Chuck Bednarik, former mayoral candidate Milton Street, former NHL enforcer Dan Kordic, the ghost of Jimmie Foxx, Howard Eskin’s beard and the Philadelphia Phanatic.
“We really think the the Bruno, Innes, Macnow, Martorano, Bednark, Street, Kordic, Foxx, Eskin Beard and Philadelphia Phanatic Show is really going to give the station a firm direction moving forward,” Eskin said. “We’re especially excited about hiring Eskin’s beard, he was a great get.”
Perhaps in a reactionary move, 97.5 the Fanatic agreed to hire former 76ers mascot Hip Hop as a co-host for Missanelli.
Update:
94 WIP announced it has fired Howard Eskin from his part time show, but is allowing his beard to remain in the afternoon drive. Eskin was last seen at Ponzio’s Diner sobbing openly in the Garden Room.
Bruno (left) is out of the picture at 94 WIP. (Photo credit: Philly.com)
Philadelphia, PA – One day after the debut show of Josh Innes and Tony Bruno in the afternoon, company management representatives from 94 WIP have announced a change in direction when it comes to the afternoon drive slot.
Tony Bruno has been let go of his contract and will no longer appear alongside Josh Innes from 1 to 6 p.m. each afternoon. The duo performed one show together, setting their sites on ratings leaders Mike Missanelli of 97.5 the Fanatic, but unfortunately came up short.
Company representatives expressed frustration at the lack of a ratings gain from the two hosts.
“Quite simply, we thought we’d be farther ahead in the game than we are right now, so we felt it was time to make a change,” said Spike Eskin, the program director for 94 WIP. “We felt that we gave Tony and Josh an ample amount of time to really close that gap, but we just didn’t see the results.”
Eskin continued and announced an exciting new direction for the longtime sports radio station.
“We’ve hired a new host, a fresh talent, who we think is going to bring some unique ideas to our format,” Eskin said.
94 WIP has hitched its wagon to the rising star of Anthony Gargano, a lover of incredible meats.
Eskin then announced Anthony Gargano, a sports radio talk show host, has been hired to replace Bruno. Gargano will sit in with Innes immediately.
“Anthony Gargano will bring a reverberant voice to WIP. We’re very excited to see where this new talent will bring us,” Eskin said.
Gargano, a relative unknown to the Philadelphia sports talk scene, cited a love for the city and a love of incredible meats as his two main assets as a radio host.
The duo will begin their show today from 1 to 6 p.m.
UPDATE:
As of press time, 94 WIP has let Josh Innes out of his contract and announced Rob Ellis will team with Gargano for the afternoon drive slot.
The Coggin Toboggan 