Joel Embiid

Elated Gerald Henderson thought MVP chants were for him
rs_phillythumb2_1200x800_20160930_sixr27-o_324166495

MVP.

Philadelphia, PA – An over the moon Gerald Henderson beamed as he spoke with reporters after the 76ers season opening loss to the Thunder, as the new shooting guard said he could hardly believe the welcome the fans game him and love they showed him throughout last night’s contest.

“You hear things about these fans when you’re not playing in the city, but let me tell you, they’re class acts. Those MVP MVP MVP chants they were giving me last night? I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that,” Henderson said, mistaking the obvious chants directed to new star in the making Joel Embiid as directed at him.

(more…)

We saw a sublime talent, destined to be one of the greats, debut for the 76ers last night

joel-embiid-shirley-templesIf you watched the 76ers kick off their 2016-2017 season in Boston last night, decades from now you’ll be able to tell your grandchildren that you saw one of the greatest Sixers to ever put on the uniform suit up for the first time in his long and successful career.

The energy was insane leading up to this game. Can anyone remember another time that this city got so pumped up for a 76ers preseason game? How about even a regular season game? It didn’t come close.

Twitter was bumping. The Hinkie-ites were out in full force, puffing out their chests, saying “look at what our fallen leader has done for you. Be thankful, Philadelphia.” Even the national media was paying attention, keeping at least one eye on the 76ers during opening night of the MLB postseason.

It was all because of one man. The man who so many have already labeled a savior of the organization despite only playing sparse minutes in one preseason game.

(more…)

Fired-up Joel Embiid has been kicking a concrete pillar all morning

0344696Philadelphia, PA – On the morning of his first preseason game after a long road to the NBA, 76ers center Joel Embiid has spent a fidgety day at the team’s practice facility, dealing with butterflies before making his professional basketball debut.

Head Coach Brett Brown said athletes tend to deal with nervous energy in their own ways. Some sit in a corner by themselves to think, others listen to their music before game time, others can’t stop talking to their teammates, he said.

Dario Saric, another 76ers rookie, has taken to joking around with his teammates and calling his family this morning, Brown said.

Embiid has taken a different approach.

(more…)

Joel Embiid’s inexperience on full display, shows up to practice in cleats
hi-res-9d64242bd44d212b5f4b92bfcbefe81c_crop_north

Embiid still has a long way to go.

Philadelphia, PA – Third-year member of the 76ers Joel Embiid stepped on the court in a competitive setting for the first time since 2014 yesterday, but the talented, yet raw, center showed he has miles to go before he reaches his true potential.

He showed his lack of experience throughout practice, scrambling to defend pick and rolls all morning, biting on every pump fake in the post, and struggling to find grip on the hardwood court due to wearing metal cleats to practice.

(more…)

REPORT: 76ers Joel Embiid cleared to resume tweeting at Rihanna

screen-shot-2014-08-01-at-7-20-58-amPhiladelphia, PA – The good news keeps on coming for the Philadelphia 76ers, as team doctors and physicians have cleared oft-injured 22-year-old center Joel Embiid to resume his tweeting to pop-star Rihanna.

Christopher C. Dodson, MD, head physician for the 76ers, said Embiid could resume “light-tweeting” to Rihanna during the mornings and late afternoon, under the strict supervision of team officials.

“We’re getting him slowly back to doing what he loves. He’s been extremely patient throughout this entire process and is eagerly awaiting full clearance to get back to where he was several years ago,” Dodson said.

(more…)

Sam Hinkie leaves 76ers fans at time when they need him the most

Hinkie glassesPhiladelphia, PA – A tearful fan base watched forlornly as their favorite person in the whole world, their best friend, their buddy in arms, told them that he had taught them all they needed to know and it was time for him to leave.

“But why…was it something we did? We’ll be good, we promise! Please don’t leave us now, we just saw them win the 10th game of the season and the draft is coming up. Please, we love you,” a sobbing fan base told their pasty savior, as he looked down on them fondly.

(more…)

Joel Embiid, 76ers relying on controversial measures for his recovery

JoelPhiladelphia, PA – Two years ago Joel Embiid was rehabbing his foot injury with traditional methods. Lots of stretching, weight bearing at the beginning of the process, and then a gradual uptick in exercise and weight lifting.

As all 76ers fans know, this just didn’t work. Embiid was forced to undergo another surgery when his foot didn’t heal properly.

Perhaps needing another direction, the 76ers have embraced sports science and several controversial methods for their prize young center.

(more…)

Josh Harris orders thawing of Jerry Colangelo for trade deadline advice
051415-harris-josh-600

A tortured soul.

Philadelphia, PA – Josh Harris summoned his closest advisors and 76ers scientists/technicians before deciding the time was right to order the thawing of cryogenically preserved Jerry Colangelo.

Harris decided the aged Colangelo’s wisdom was invaluable during this pivotal NBA trade deadline and would be worth the risk to go against the laws of nature and all that is considered Holy and dear to mankind to unfreeze the 76ers front office executive.

(more…)

Joel Embiid kicked field goals today at Eagles walk through

JoelPhiladelphia, PA – Joel Embiid made a surprise visit to Lincoln Financial Field to visit with several members of the Philadelphia Eagles this morning for their walkthrough before their game against the New York Giants tonight.

He surprised even more onlookers as the injured center was spotted kicking several field goals during the walk through as well.

Embiid wasn’t going half speed as well, several representatives reported to the Coggin, as he had worked up “quite a sweat out there,” attempting multiple 30, 40, and 50-yard field goal attempts on the slippery surface.

The young 76ers center recently had a second surgery on his right foot, the second in two years, to take care of a stress fracture that has not let him play yet for Philadelphia. Embiid’s dedication to his rehabilitation program was called into question last week after a Sports Illustrated article revealed he shunned the healthy food provided to him by 76ers representatives and nearly came to blows with the team conditioning coach.

(more…)

What’s the deal with Joel Embiid and Harper Lee?!

Seinfeld-Cast-Jerry-Seinfeld-16x9-1Jerry Seinfeld checks in with the Toboggan every now and again to provide a hot take about Philadelphia sports, the way only a neurotic Jewish comedian can. For best results, please read the following in a stereotypical Jerry Seinfeld 90s voice. 

What’s the deal with Joel Embiid and his gimpy foot? One day you’re riding a Phunkee Duck through the city of Philadelphia, and the next day you’re sitting out for the rest of the year because you rebroke your foot! He’s broken his foot more times than Wayne Knight has had to refill his diabetes medication! I hated anyone who had a pony!

(more…)