Craig Berube

Craig Berube sent to unemployment box

BerubeDL_2013_2Sorry Craig, apparently “Rowdy” Ron Hextall got tired of the nonsense you put the roster through for the past season. Zac Rinaldo playing in front of Lecavalier? REALLY? Vinny was fairly terrible this year, but he’ll give you more impact on the ice compared to Rinaldo. If you need someone to throw and elbow and get a 10 minute game misconduct in the first five minutes, Zac’s your guy.

It’s been fun, Craig. You had a hell of a run last year and the magic just didn’t translate over to this season. Nice to see the career years by Voracek, Mason and Giroux were wasted during their prime playing years.

Here are a few predictions for what happens to The Chief now:

– Immediately hired back by Ed Snider for a front office position under Hextall.

– Signed to play for the team next year, as Snider deems the roster too soft.

– Opens a barbershop and calls it, “Chief’s Tomahawk Shop: Where we gettem you a good deal for your wampum.”

– Waits outside of the WFC to fight Steve Mason.

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Fuck ya’ll, all ya’ll

HI top fadeEvery so often, the CT will check in with rookie sensation Nerlens Noel and his signature hi-top fade haircut to get his take on the 76ers season so far. We at CT take no responsibility for the opinions of the hi-top or his world views. On to today’s edition:

Philadelphia 76ers (18-58). Who is even on this team anymore?

To all you pieces of garbage that wanted us traded? FUCK YOU. LOOK AT US NOW, MOTHER FUCKERS.

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Drunken, shirtless Ron Hextall announces he’ll be starting in goal tonight

hextall080614_672Vancouver, British Columbia – Perhaps frustrated as of late by his team’s mediocre play and inspired by St. Patrick’s Day, a visibly intoxicated Ron Hextall held an impromptu press conference on the tarmac of the Vancouver International Airport, in which he stated he would be starting in goal tonight for the Philadelphia Flyers.

“Steve Lason (sic) has been great for us recently, but he needs a night off. I’ll be stepping in between the pipes tonight….who wants to tell me I can’t?” Hextall said, slurring every other word as team officials pleaded with the current GM to leave the airport and take a nap at the hotel.

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