Gronk is unhappy with the Patriots Way? Nobody tell Teddy Bruschi

Reports came out this morning that Rob Gronkowski, who likely would be entertained if you gave him some shiny tinfoil and small bits of string to play with, did NOT have a nice time playing for the New England Patriots this year.

But, but, but wait….everyone’s favorite sourpuss and Lane Johnson criticizer Teddy Bruschi said winning cures all and football isn’t MEANT to be fun as long as you’re a Patriot!

So what gives? It’s like Lane Johnson was on to something when he said he’d rather have a fun time playing football for a player friendly coach and winning a Super Bowl rather than being part of a totalitarian regime of a football franchise that treats its players like interchangeable commodities instead of actual human beings.

In a CBS Boston report by Tom E. Curran, Gronk has apparently had it up to HERE with the Patriots and the mythological “Patriots Way.”

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New pictures show the weathered state of the Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell

Sean Scollon, chief business intelligence officer at C.W. Dunnet & Co., surprised us this morning with a fresh batch of Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell pictures from the afternoon it was transported from the food distributor warehouse to the Phillies.

As you can see from the pictures, the bell was lifted in two pieces by a crane and transported by a flatbed truck. The Phillies procured the bell from C.W. Dunnet and Co. in the fall of 2017.

The Phillies will refurbish the bell and display it to fans at Citizen’s Bank Park by the 2019 season.

See the pictures after the jump:

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A satellite view of the Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell in all its rusted glory

Thanks to a reader who alerted us to this. Google Earth of C.W. Dunnet and Co. (3200 S. Lawrence Street, Philadelphia, PA) shows a perfect satellite image of the old Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell sitting in a back of the food distributor property.

It looks old, it looks rusted, and it looks AWESOME.

The Phillies recently reacquired the bell and will be putting it on display at Citizens Bank Park by the 2019 season.

We should have closer pictures of the bell next week as provided by C.W. Dunnet and Co.

Phillies plan to refurbish and display Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell at CBP by 2019

In 2012 I sent an email to a contact I had within the Phillies organization with an odd request. Could he get me more information, and possibly the location, of the old Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell?

Six years later after countless emails, dead ends, contradicting accounts, and one extraordinarily helpful South Philadelphia food distributing company president, the Veterans Stadium Liberty Bell has found a permanent home back with the Philadelphia Phillies.

“I wanted to let you know that we are no longer in possession of the Liberty Bell. A while back we were contacted by the Phillies organization about reacquiring the bell. After discussing it internally, we decided that the plans we had to display the bell were too ambitious for now, and returning the bell to the Phillies provided the best chance for it to be ‘resurrected’ and given a chance to be displayed and appreciated by Phillies fans again,” Sean Scollon, chief business intelligence officer at C.W. Dunnet & Co., told The Coggin Toboggan.

James Trout, director, marketing services and events for the Phillies, confirmed the organization has the bell. The Phillies plan to refurbish the approximately 20-foot high, 15-foot wide bell and put it on display for fans at Citizens Bank Park as early as the 2019 season.

Any additional plans or location for the bell at the stadium is unknown at this point, he said.

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So what do you call this NBA All-Star Game preshow event? … The Aristocrats!

NBA Commissioner Adam Silver is sitting in his office two weeks before the NBA All-Star Game and is reviewing choices for the pregame show, when a talent agent BURSTS into his room and says he has the perfect idea.

Talent Agent: “So, here’s what I’m thinking. Kevin Hart starts the show, and he welcomes the crowd to the 2018 NBA All-Star Game. He’s interrupted by actor Rob Riggle for some reason, who then attempts to “coach” him about what it takes to be an NBA All-Star for a long, terribly unfunny skit to really take the air out of any energy the crowd may have had for our exhibition game that has no stakes whatsoever. Riggle will have a coaching clipboard, a sweatshirt, a whistle the whole nine yards. He’ll make light of Kevin Hart’s height, he’ll be named coach, it will be marvelous.

Adam Silver: “That….that doesn’t sound too great, to be honest.”

Talent Agent: “But that’s not the end of it, oh no sir. Rob Riggle then introduces Jamie Foxx to the festivities.”

Adam Silver: “Ok, that doesn’t sound too bad. He’s an A-lister, could bring some good buzz to the pregame. What’s he going to do? Some comedy? Pump up the crowd?”

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Sleepy old has-been furious at Jason Kelce’s award winning* championship speech

*2018 Super Bowl Winning Speech of the Year, as voted on by The Coggin Toboggan

Oh Mike Francesa, did somebody not get their nappy earlier this week? The sleepy, longtime radio personality (who is doing radio now more than ever after his retirement) decided his virgin ears were BESMIRCHED by Jason Kelce’s epic Super Bowl speech on the step’s of the Art Museum during last Thursday’s Super Bowl parade and called on Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie to cut the Pro-Bowl center for his lewdness.

Francesa dropped his own, far-less entertaining rant on the WOR Sports Zone, and was most likely heard by dozens upon dozens of fans listening on their HAM radios.

NBC Sports Philadelphia transcribed Francesa’s “old-man yells at cloud” moment for all of us to enjoy and mock forever:

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Happy Valentine’s Day to you from your lovers at The Coggin Toboggan

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys something for a while now…I’m usually not one to beat around the bush, so I’ll just come out and say it. I’m a straight shooter, okay? I just come out and say what we want to say, you know? I don’t dance around things, I don’t hint, I don’t nudge, I just come right out and say it. Yes, I come right out and say what I truly believe, do you know what I’m saying?

I…I love you guys. Will you be my Valentine?

Philadelphia is too happy and it feels too weird

It’s been a week and a half since the Eagles won the Super Bowl. The sun is shining just a bit brighter, the grass is just a bit greener, and the horse manure caked into Broad Street tastes just a little bit sweeter.

Nobody is complaining, everyone is getting along, the Flyers and Sixers are a combined 8-0 since the Eagles finally brought a Lombardi back to Philadelphia.

This city is jubilant, we’re all in great moods…does it feel wrong to anyone else?

I’m not saying it’s bad to be feeling this way, it just doesn’t feel RIGHT for Philadelphia.

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Who shouldn’t be thanked after the Eagles Super Bowl victory?

The Eagles won Super Bowl LII. They won the Super Bowl. FUCKING FINALLY, they won the Super Bowl.

Last night I posted a heartfelt story about the win, about watching the game with my dad, my brother, my wife and wishing my other brother had been with us (instead of watching it in the city) to celebrate in our joy.

But that’s not us, right? That’s not The Coggin Toboggan. We have a “no hugging, no learning” rule like Seinfeld, but I figured we could at least break it for one night after a once in a lifetime moment.

Let’s get back to basics. Let’s get mean again, let’s get childish, let’s get back to our ROOTS as the most hated blog in Philadelphia.

Everyone in the franchise is thanking everyone for the Super Bowl win. God. Their family members. Belichick for inexplicably benching his start cornerback for no reason. It’s exhausting.

Who shouldn’t be thanked? Who deserves to be ridiculed and chastised for doing absolutely nothing for the franchise or the city? Here’s a running list of all those in franchise history who should NOT be thanked following last night’s Super Bowl victory:

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OH MY GOD THE EAGLES FINALLY WON THE SUPER BOWL

Well that’s it for me. Good night. It’s been a great life. My wife is set up fine, my son had a good two years with me. That’s enough, right? A full life of fatherhood for my first born? Yes? Right? Definitely.

I’m dead. I’m dying. I’m clutching my chest as Doug Pederson calls a MOTHER FUCKING DIRECT SNAP LATERAL TIGHT END PASS TO NICK BIG DICK FOLES FOR THE TOUCHDOWN for the Super Bowl win….I’m finished. Fuck this shit. It’s all downhill from here.

When we won I kissed my wife. I got a picture with one of my brothers and my dad. I’m sad that my other brother wasn’t there, but he’s living it up in Philadelphia.

This win is for Philadelphia. This win is for everyone who never saw an Eagles Super Bowl. This win is the for the Eagles.

Fuck my life. BUY EAGLES MERCHANDISE. MAKE ME MONEY.