Reports came out this morning that Rob Gronkowski, who likely would be entertained if you gave him some shiny tinfoil and small bits of string to play with, did NOT have a nice time playing for the New England Patriots this year.

But, but, but wait….everyone’s favorite sourpuss and Lane Johnson criticizer Teddy Bruschi said winning cures all and football isn’t MEANT to be fun as long as you’re a Patriot!

So what gives? It’s like Lane Johnson was on to something when he said he’d rather have a fun time playing football for a player friendly coach and winning a Super Bowl rather than being part of a totalitarian regime of a football franchise that treats its players like interchangeable commodities instead of actual human beings.

In a CBS Boston report by Tom E. Curran, Gronk has apparently had it up to HERE with the Patriots and the mythological “Patriots Way.”

“This started in training camp. He seriously considered stepping away from the game in training camp. He had kind of had it,” Curran said. “At that point, his body wasn’t responding. He wanted to train a certain way; the team didn’t necessarily want him to train the way he wanted to train. They were at loggerheads. He was pissed. And the season played out, and by the end of it, I don’t think that some of the principle players on this team were really happy with the atmosphere and the climate.”

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT winning cures all! Everyone wants to play for the Patriots! Winning trumps having fun, right?! It’s like a guy would rather have a say in the way he trains or rehabs his own body.

I suppose not, considering Gronkowski would rather quit playing football altogether than play for the Patriots and further his CTE diagnosis in a WWE ring.

Oh well. Maybe not everyone on the Patriots is a futuristic cyborg like Tom Brady or Bill Belichick and actually wants to, GASP, have a nice time playing a game.

Gronk, you don’t have to retire. There’s always room on the Eagles for a backup tight end and plenty of two tight end sets that Doug Pederson could cook up for you and Zach Ertz.

Hell, the Eagles even have ice cream. Come over to the fun side, Gronk.