Well that’s it for me. Good night. It’s been a great life. My wife is set up fine, my son had a good two years with me. That’s enough, right? A full life of fatherhood for my first born? Yes? Right? Definitely.

I’m dead. I’m dying. I’m clutching my chest as Doug Pederson calls a MOTHER FUCKING DIRECT SNAP LATERAL TIGHT END PASS TO NICK BIG DICK FOLES FOR THE TOUCHDOWN for the Super Bowl win….I’m finished. Fuck this shit. It’s all downhill from here.

When we won I kissed my wife. I got a picture with one of my brothers and my dad. I’m sad that my other brother wasn’t there, but he’s living it up in Philadelphia.

This win is for Philadelphia. This win is for everyone who never saw an Eagles Super Bowl. This win is the for the Eagles.

Fuck my life. BUY EAGLES MERCHANDISE. MAKE ME MONEY.