So, you’ve decided to host a 4th of July barbecue at your house this year, Mr. or Mrs. John Q. American. To you, I say well done! There’s nothing more patriotic than inviting your closest family and friends over for an afternoon of overeating, day drinking, and blatant displays of jingoism that would make William Randolph Hearst blush.
But you can’t just expect to get a few hotdogs, a few hamburgers, and a warm case of domestic beer to pull this off. OH NO. You’ve got to go big, because that’s what America is all about, isn’t it? Gratuitous demonstrations of excess to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you love this country oh so very much.
The Coggin Toboggan has helped you win the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest and gotten you out of a fireworks jam in past 4th of July’s, so take advantage of these tips from the professionals to throw the barbecue of the century: