Harry Mayes

Applying to be the next 97.5 the Fanatic…I’m sorry, I can’t even pretend that’s a good idea

The Fanatic had quite a week. Harry Mayes? LET GO. Eytan Shander? LET GO. Anthony Gargano? DEMOTED. Mike Missanelli? STILL AN ASSHOLE.

By my count, the Fanatic is down to about three on-air hosts, a handful of producers, and countless ad reps desperately trying to re-up their accounts with Anthony’s Coal Fired Pizza before they catch wind of the sinking ship that is the Fanatic.

The station obviously need some new hosts, some new talent to SHAKE UP THE STATUS QUO and tweet out some new and exciting poll questions from the station’s twitter handle for fans to shit all over.

And here’s where I’d normally make a wacky and UTTERLY HILARIOUS fake resume and fake job application to throw my name into the mix for the job. It’s been done. And done again it seems. Just great stuff there. Well played Coggin.

But at this point, is it even realistic anymore to even PRETEND to want to work for the Fanatic? It’s like a curse at this point to work for the station, a horror movie come to life. Everything starts off well, but you know something terrible is going to happen to you before everything is over.

Rumor has it if you say Anthony Gargano’s name three times into a mirror he appears and hands you an iron-clad Fanatic contract and uses your toilet for 45 minutes. I don’t need that evil.

What is the Fanatic doing? Is there any actual personnel strategy to these moves, or is it simply a cost-cutting effort by the sports talk station? Has the hull been breached?

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97.5 the Fanatic has announced the midday replacement for Rob Ellis

BOB

In a stunning programming decision this afternoon, veteran midday host Rob Ellis has been let go by 97.5 the Fanatic after several years of service to the sports talk station. Ellis notified his listeners at the conclusion of today’s show, explaining that it would be his last with the Fanatic and his co-host Harry Mayes.

It did not take long for the station to find his replacement, as 97.5 the Fanatic station representatives officially announced that an old Breakfast on Broad coffee mug would be Ellis’s permanent replacement for the midday show.

The mug’s last hosting duties included a brief guest host spot on Ellis’s Comcast Sports Network morning show when Ellis was out sick with the flu for a week. The show experienced its highest ratings during the mug’s guest hosting spot.

“We feel the mug will allow us to put forth the best programming we can for our listeners,” 97.5 the Fanatic Program Director Matt Nahigan told the Coggin Toboggan.

The show will go on hiatus for the next week with the mug taking on full hosting duties Monday, July 24.

What asinine questions will Rob Ellis and Harry Mayes ask LaVar Ball? A gambler’s guide

ellisandmayesheadshot2hero1Harry Mayes and Rob Ellis announced today on Twitter that LaVar Ball, father of NBA rookie Lonzo Ball, would be joining their show in the afternoon for what will NO DOUBT be a groundbreaking interview that won’t have listeners turning off their radios across the Delaware Valley at record setting paces.

Day late and a dollar short, fellas. I’m sure a producer burst into Rob Ellis’s office this morning, too frazzled to speak clearly, to tell hi about his big “get.”

Producer: “Mr. Ellis…I….I…..oh god, give me a second.”

Ellis: “This had better be good, god damnit, to interrupt me during my personal reflection period.” (puts down an old Breakfast on Broad script, wipes the tears away from his cheeks)

Producer: “I just got off the phone with LaVar Ball’s people. Yes, THE LaVar Ball. He can do the show.”

Ellis: “The annoying has been father that has worn out his 15 minutes of fame with every media outlet across the country?”

Producer: “The very one.”

Ellis (looks up silently to the ceiling): “This is the moment I have been working towards my entire life. Leave me be, I must prepare my cliched and unoriginal line of questioning that every sports talk host across the globe has already lobbed at this moon faced dullard. ”

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Embarrassed Rob Ellis ejaculates before he can predict week 5 of Eagles 2017-2018 schedule

rob-ellisMoments after predicting an Eagles victory of the San Diego in week four to improve their record to 4-0 on the year, 97.5 Fanatic Midday show host Rob Ellis stiffened his hips and then groaned erotically on-air before he could begin delving into the week 5 match-up against the Arizona Cardinals.

For several minutes after, listeners were treated to Ellis’s deep, contended breathing and nothing more.

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Jon Marks researching karate classes after another Anthony Gargano bullying incident
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Jon Marks, whom someone once said they were going to “put in a body bag.”

Philadelphia, PA – With tears welling up in his eyes, Jon Marks retreated to the safety of the 97.5 Fanatic break room this morning during a commercial and quietly googled local karate schools after Anthony Gargano once again called him a “stupid meatball” on air.

“I was just saying I didn’t think the Eagles were better off with Sam Bradford as quarterback, and he called me a meatball again,” Marks said, his bottom lip quivering. “I’ve got to learn karate, take a class or something. And not a class at the Y, at a good school this time.”

Since Gargano’s arrival at the station this past April, Marks has seen an increase in bullying incidents at the hands of the older, more seasoned radio veteran. Gargano has also gained the trust of and friendship of Fanatic employees Joe Decamara and Harry Mayes, who have also made life difficult for Marks.

The two Gargano underlings, dressed in skeleton costumes, reportedly beat up Marks during last year’s Halloween party.

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