Jon Marks researching karate classes after another Anthony Gargano bullying incident

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Jon Marks, whom someone once said they were going to “put in a body bag.”

Philadelphia, PA – With tears welling up in his eyes, Jon Marks retreated to the safety of the 97.5 Fanatic break room this morning during a commercial and quietly googled local karate schools after Anthony Gargano once again called him a “stupid meatball” on air.

“I was just saying I didn’t think the Eagles were better off with Sam Bradford as quarterback, and he called me a meatball again,” Marks said, his bottom lip quivering. “I’ve got to learn karate, take a class or something. And not a class at the Y, at a good school this time.”

Since Gargano’s arrival at the station this past April, Marks has seen an increase in bullying incidents at the hands of the older, more seasoned radio veteran. Gargano has also gained the trust of and friendship of Fanatic employees Joe Decamara and Harry Mayes, who have also made life difficult for Marks.

The two Gargano underlings, dressed in skeleton costumes, reportedly beat up Marks during last year’s Halloween party.

In addition to being called a meatball on several occasions, Marks said Gargano and his cronies have called him a “stupid gabagool,” a “stunad,” and a “foolish mamaluke” when passing him in the hallways.

When asked by Maureen Crowley Williams, another co-host of the morning show and a woman Marks harbors a deep crush for, what was wrong, Marks expressed frustration at his current work situation.

“No you don’t want to hear the truth. All you want to hear about is how great this job is. Well it may be great for you but it SUCKS for me! I hate this place! I HATE IT! I just want to go back to the way it was. Why can’t we just go back to when it was just me, you, and Jamie (Lynch)?” he said, tears streaming down his cheeks.

The bully and top student of the 97.5 Fanatic dojo.

The bully and top student of the 97.5 Fanatic dojo.

Williams put a hand on Marks’ shoulder as the middle aged man sobbed at the computer.

When asked for a comment, Gargano brushed off the bullying incidents.

“Hey Marks knows I’m just kidding, he’s just a stupid meatball. Kids got to shape up or I’ll have to show that gaguzz’ who has the biggest cazzos in this office, you know what I’m saying? Fugeddaboudit!”

Gargano then put Marks into a headlock for the entirety of his live read about Steak-Em-Up on South 11th Street.

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2 comments

  1. Am I the only one who listens to Cousin Vito and Johnny Cakes do their “Meat Locker” show as if it was Howard Sterns ‘Out of the closet Stern’? Seriously…do they realize the how homo-erotic they sound? Vito from the Soprano’s, all decked out in his leather gear, would feel right at home talking about how many meaty men he could fit into his “meat locker”.
    The Cuz drooling and moaning “OH Baldi”, as he describes Baldinger and his “meaty Pot roast” squeezing into his “meat locker”. Just waiting for the day they start playing hide the salami…..

    Like

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