Pete Mackanin

Just give in and #embracethesuck with the Phillies

Odubel Herrera HEROICALLY being thrown out by 50-feet last night. (photo credit: Deadspin.com)

Last night the Phillies blew a 5-0 lead against the Cardinals and didn’t even have the decency for their fans to lose in the 9th inning. After a game tying home run in the ninth, they proceeded to lumber into extra innings and shit all over themselves.

After a balk, a wild throw on a pick off attempt, the ignoring of a stop sign which resulted in the winning run being thrown out by 50-feet, the Phillies mercifully pulled the plug and lost 7-6.

Did you expect anything else? A buddy of mine every year growing up would try to get us excited about the Phillies, only to have his soul crushed in HILARIOUS fashion when Ron Gant/Kevin Sefcik/Rob Ducey/Rico Brogna/Mike Lieberthal/Randy Wolf/Omar Daal/Travis Lee didn’t pan out to be franchise saviors and the Phillies were in last place by July.

I guarantee even he didn’t expect them to win last night.

The strangest thing, though? Phillies twitter went CRAZY. Oh my, there was a great gnashing and whaling of teeth as fans smashed their faces into keyboards and spat vitriol into the electric ether about this garbage organization.

Why? WHY?! WHY THE OUTRAGE?! They dropped to 26 games under .500 and we’re not even out of June yet. There are 92 games left in the season. The season is over. Unless angels come down from the heavens and help Hector Neris regain command of his sinker and cast Odubel Herrera down into the fiery depths of hell this season is a complete waste of time.

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Ruben Amaro Jr. walks into Phillies clubhouse out of habit, trades Mickey Moniak

Old habits die hard, just ask former Phillies GM Ruben Amaro Jr.

Visiting Citizens Bank Park for the first time since being fired as the organization’s general manager, the two sides got a good chuckle out of Amaro Jr. accidentally walking into the Phillies home clubhouse instead of the visitors clubhouse Wednesday night prior to the Phillies home stint with the Boston Red Sox.

“Oops…I don’t think I’ve even been to the visitors clubhouse, my bad guys,” Amaro Jr. said to the amused group of Phillies who were lounging around prior to the game, speaking with members of the media.

“Oh, and someone tell Mickey Moniak I’ve traded him to the Mets for Curtis Granderson. We need some power at the corners and they needed young talent. Should be a win-win.”

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Pete Mackanin caught on video giving team the finger for three straight innings

MLB: Philadelphia Phillies at Arizona Diamondbacks

He’s had it.

Video surfaced this morning after a fan at the Marlins 10-2 victory over the Phillies afternoon matinee showed Phillies head coach Pete Mackanin clearly giving his own team the finger for three straight innings and two non-consecutive innings thereafter.

This comes on the same day Mr. Met was shown flipping off a fan at last night’s Mets game. Does Major League Baseball suddenly have a problem with its employees conduct?

The fan shot video showed Mackanin silently waiting at the top of the dugout steps from innings three through five, as the Marlins pounded the Phillies to take an 8-0 lead. As each member of the Phillies trudged back into the dugout, they were greeted by Mackanin flipping each of them off with his right hand, middle finger gleefully extended towards to the heavens.

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‘Oh run out the godamn ball, Odubel!’ screams man scamming his disability insurance company

usa-odubel-herrera-slide_0 Philadelphia, PA – A local Philadelphia man reportedly screamed at his TV Monday evening after he noticed Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Odubel Herrera failed to run out a ground ball he hit to the pitcher in the 7th inning of a contest against the Detroit Tigers.

Tom Corello, 42, who is currently scamming his disability insurance company by claiming his perfectly healthy back is too injured to allow him to work, was irate that Herrera dogged it up the line late in the ballgame.

“Oh run out the godamn ball, Odubel! Play like a professional for Christ sake,” Corello said, as he strapped himself into a fake back brace he had recently purchased from a crooked medical supply company his friend Sal had told him about.

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Maikel Franco won’t come out of apartment after watching Friday the 13th movies all night

Maikel Franco, in happier times.

Philadelphia, PA – Maikel Franco of the Philadelphia Phillies has been downgraded to questionable for tonight’s game against the Cincinnati Reds because the young third baseman cannot be coaxed out from his bedroom after staying up all night watching the Friday the 13th series.

Franco was missing for his schedule morning batting cage session and would not return phone calls from manager Pete Mackanin or teammates. When several team representative showed up to his apartment, he had reportedly barricaded the door to his luxury apartment and would not answer the door for the rest of the day because “Jason was out there.”

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Jeremy Hellickson joins historic list of Phillies opening day starters

The man, the myth, the legend…Jeremy Hellickson.

Philadelphia, PA -Omar Daal, Kevin Millwood, Robert Person, Andy Ashby, some guy named Sid Fernandez.

Now, Jeremy Hellickson can add his own name to that vaunted list of elite Philadelphia athletes.

The Philadelphia Phillies made it official, naming Hellickson as its opening day starter for the 2016 season.

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Pete Mackanin Pros and Cons (updated)

After taking over for fired manager Ryne Sandberg, Pete Mackanin has had the Phillies playing some respectable ball since after the all star break.

The roster seems loose, it seems excited, and the current youth movement is serving the team well under Mackanin.

But little is still known about the interim manager. The Coggin has taken the time to analyze his moves, analyze some of his decisions, and analyze his fantastic choice of eyewear to deliver you this updated pros and cons list of his time as manager through 2015.

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Interim manager Pete Mackanin strengths/weaknesses

Third-base coach Pete Mackanin has found himself thrust into the limelight this week, as he was named interim manager for the Philadelphia Phillies and will likely finish out the rest of the year after Ryne Sandberg stepped down last week.

Casual fans might not know too much about the former third-base coach, so The Coggin Toboggan has gathered several strengths and weaknesses of the newest manager of the Philadelphia Phillies.

Strengths:

– Will be able to let teammates know exactly where they can find third base is in just about every stadium.

– His experience as a former bench coach will give him intimate knowledge of the literal BEST seat in the house for the Phillies dugout. Will be able to now pass down his wisdom to young athletes.

– His horn-rimmed glasses game is strong, second to only Chicago Cubs manager Joe Maddon.

– His slick backed, grey hair will likely drive the ladies of Philadelphia wild, a definite upgrade over Sandberg.

– Has promised to teach Cole Hamels how to pitch overhand on one of his days off.

Weaknesses:

– Has actually never seen an entire game. Left in the seventh inning of every single game he’s ever coached to “beat the traffic.”

– Coached the Montreal Expos from 1997 to 2000.

– Has yet to reveal to organization he has had two glass eyes since 2009.

– Has the full backing and support of Ruben Amaro Jr.

– Was once described as a “belly itcher” by an opposing athlete, has yet to get over it.