‘Oh run out the godamn ball, Odubel!’ screams man scamming his disability insurance company

usa-odubel-herrera-slide_0Philadelphia, PA – A local Philadelphia man reportedly screamed at his TV Monday evening after he noticed Philadelphia Phillies center fielder Odubel Herrera failed to run out a ground ball he hit to the pitcher in the 7th inning of a contest against the Detroit Tigers.

Tom Corello, 42, who is currently scamming his disability insurance company by claiming his perfectly healthy back is too injured to allow him to work, was irate that Herrera dogged it up the line late in the ballgame.

“Oh run out the godamn ball, Odubel! Play like a professional for Christ sake,” Corello said, as he strapped himself into a fake back brace he had recently purchased from a crooked medical supply company his friend Sal had told him about.

Corello, an employee of Mangello Construction Inc., has not worked for the company in five months and has reportedly taken in more than $15,000 from his insurance company after faking a welding accident on the job site.

Corello shook his head in agreement and noted Herrera would receive a “real life lesson” after Manager Pete Mackanin benched him later in the game for his lack of hustle.

Herrera played every inning of every game for the Phillies up until last week and will likely play around 150 games this year. Prior to his injury scam, Corello spent upwards of two hours each working day hiding in a Port-O-John and would take several cat naps behind an equipment shed most afternoons, away from the prying eyes of his supervisor.

“Have some god damn hustle, Herrera,” Corello grumbled, as he readied a falsified insurance document that claimed his spinal stenosis was so debilitating he could not walk for more than five minutes at a time.

“That’s what’s wrong with ballplayers today. No pride, no self-respect, it’s embarrassing. They don’t know the value of hard work and how much sweat and tears regular working Joe’s have to put in each day,” Corello said, as he frantically looked for a fake neck brace his buddy Buzzy had given him to wear when he left his row home during the day.

At press time, Corello was appalled when he googled Herrera’s salary after taking a break from researching the best way to fake a blood disease.

 

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