Howie Roseman

Panicked Eagles front office reps can’t stop Sam Bradford from dragging himself to unsigned contract
Sam B

Sam Bradford file photo.

Philadelphia, PA – Horrified Eagles front office representatives could only look on helplessly as a crippled but determined Sam Bradford dragged himself across the floor of a conference room to his unsigned contract Tuesday afternoon at a  signing event that went disturbingly wrong.

According to sources the meeting began well, as Bradford came to the signing with his agent, Tom Condon. Handshakes and pleasantries were exchanged, but young athlete started to act strangely after just five minutes of his arrival.

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DeMeco Ryans classily keys thank you note into side of Howie Roseman’s car
demeco-ryans-reps-alabama-during-sunday-night-football-intro-roll-tide

A real class act.

Philadelphia, PA – A class act until the end, Eagles defensive leader DeMeco Ryans keyed a long and thankful note into Executive Vice President of Football Operations Howie Roseman’s car after he learned of his release from the team Wednesday afternoon.

The thre paragraph note was crudely scratched into the side of Roseman’s 2015 BMW 320i xDrive, which has an MSRP of $35,000, thanking the organization for the past four seasons.

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Howie Roseman facing most arduous challenge of his career

NFL: Kansas City Chiefs at Philadelphia EaglesPhiladelphia, PA – A stiff and sweaty Howie Roseman has successfully gotten his office chair up to the fourth floor at Lincoln Financial Field, after being told by owner Jeffrey Lurie that he would again be involved in player development following the termination of head coach Chip Kelly.

Sources have confirmed Roseman began the journey around 10:30 a.m. this morning, slowly rolling the chair up the long ramps of the deserted stadium, stopping numerous times to wipe sweat from his pasty brow.

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Chip Kelly: Hinkie did what? God damnit…get me Foles and a whore that can dance
Chip Kelly, perhaps gone mad with power.

Chip Kelly, perhaps gone mad with power.

Philadelphia, PA – Hearing that 76ers GM Sam Hinkie seized the spotlight again, just one day after the Eagles completed a blockbuster trade that saw franchise running back Lesean McCoy shipped to Buffalo for linebacker Kiko Alonso, Chip Kelly was seen destroying his office at the Novacare Complex in front of a cowering Howie Roseman.

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