2017 is almost at a close and 2018 is ready to pounce with all new horrors and shocking news breaks to make us all feel like complete garbage. Who will be outed as a serial harasser of women in the New Year? Aziz Ansari? Chris Pratt? The rest of the cast of Parks and Recreation? God that was a great show….but too bad, you can’t enjoy it now since they’re all a bunch of women harassers (allegedly).
It has been a banner year for the Coggin, hasn’t it? Sure pageviews are down and I wrote 150 less posts this year than 2016….and 250 less than 2015 (jesus christ) but it was still a BANNER YEAR DAMNIT.
I made a conscious effort to move away from The Onion satire this year and I think it worked out well. Some of you may disagree, and you are wrong in doing so and you should feel very, very badly about yourselves. HOW DARE YOU.
Here are some of the pieces I enjoyed writing this year:
I FORGOT TO MENTION I’M RUNNING FOR CAMDEN COUNTY FREEHOLDER, DIDN’T I?
GOD BLESS DAVID AKERS AND HIS ATTEMPT TO KEEP ME FROM DRINKING IN COLLEGE
APPLYING TO BE THE NEXT 97.5 FANATIC PROGRAMMING DIRECTOR
APPLYING FOR THE 97.5 FANATIC ON-AIR MIDDAY HOST OPEN POSITION
ANGELO CATALDI PIMPS OUT CBS3’S MEISHA JOHNSON ON MORNING SHOW
SO, YOU’RE A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE ATHLETE AND YOU’VE BLOWN YOUR FINGERS OFF ON THE 4TH OF JULY
DAVE HAKSTOL EXCITED TO REALLY DICK AROUND NOLAN PATRICK OR NICO HISCHIER NEXT SEASON
(I don’t know why, but the above story is BY FAR the most popular story on the site. Every day it’s usually the highest traffic generating story and it’s almost 8 months old at this point. MCW is a cash cow)
THE TIME A DRUNK 76ERS FAN DEMANDED MATT GEIGER PUNCH KEITH VAN HORN IN THE FACE…AND HE DID IT
2017 ALL-PHILADELPHIA ROYAL RUMBLE
Those are my favorites. Did we miss any of your favorites? Let me know on Twitter and I’ll repost them.
Happy New Years, everyone!
The Coggin Toboggan 