Star Wars

Philadelphia Soul to wear Figrin D’an jerseys in upcoming game

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The famed Figrin D’an of the Modal Nodes.

Philadelphia, PA – Perhaps taking a page out of the Reading Fightins book, the Philadelphia Soul are getting into the Star Wars craze and have announced they will don jerseys with a classic character from the beloved sci-fi franchise for an upcoming game.

The Soul will wear Figrin D’an jerseys against the Orlando Predators this Saturday, May 21.

Figrin D’an, as any fan of the series knows, is the lead Kloo Horn player and bandleader of the Modal Nodes. The Modal Nodes, of course, are the house band of the Mos Eisley Cantina and are known for their hit single “The Cantina Song,” which they perform on repeat for hours at a time.

The Soul are planning a night of festivities to honor the “most famous and well-known character of the Star Wars Franchise” during the special night.

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Sam Bradford super stoked for new Battlefield Earth trailer

Sam BPhiladelphia, PA – Leading 17-7 at halftime, Eagles Quarterback Sam Bradford led his team into the tunnel and sprinted into the locker room and straight to the nearest television set.

When asked what he was so excited for, Bradford said he couldn’t “wait for the new Battlefield Earth trailer.”

“It’s debuting tonight during the game, didn’t you guys hear? Boy am I excited! Travolta! Pepper! Scientology! Golly, that movies got it all doesn’t it! A great message and some great acting, I can’t wait!” he excitedly said, before clicking the tv on.

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RIP Leonard Nimoy (from a broadcaster who doesn’t know who he is, but is forced to ad lib because the teleprompter is down)

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He was obviously playing some kind of an alien, right?

Well, tragic news today as the world mourns Leonard Nimoy, who passed away earlier this morning at the age of 83.

The, ummm….the actor? Yes, the actor I suppose, lived a long life and enjoyed popularity that spanned through several years? No, sorry, decades? Ok, decades, yes, that must be right, those media stills look fairly old.

Best known for his role as some kind of alien thing on what looks like a television show, but also I see here he was described as a movie star also, so he probably played that character a few times in his life. His pointy ears were obviously prosthetic, I believe anyways…he couldn’t have had ears like that in real life, right?

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