NBC 10

Don Tollefson: “I swear I’ll repay everyone I scammed, even if it kills them”

I’m back baby! Dandy Don Tollefson is a free man, just like that. They just opened the doors of the prison for me, said I was free to go and pushed me through. Didn’t even give me a psych evaluation before turning me loose….huh, seems like something that should be standard procedure, right? How about that?! You learn something new everyday in this wackadoo life!

I really feel like they should have given me my medications, though, before putting me back on the streets of Philadelphia. I’ve been off of them for a few weeks now, but I don’t feel too bad. I have been hearing high pitched screaming every night while I sleep, causing me to wake up in a freezing cold sweat…and I’ll be honest, I am starting to hear that screaming while I’m awake as well…even when nobody is around.

It tortures me…it would make a lesser man go crazy.

But the midnight fox that is set adrift on the Winter winds stays a hop and a leap ahead of insanity, that’s what I always say.

Did you see me on NBC 10 the other day? I thought I came off quite well, I really did. Take a look for yourself:

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John Bolaris regains partnership with NBC 10 after angrily ranting on Twitter
Just chilling in a corner, going to do some weather, no big deal.

Just chilling in a corner, going to do some weather, no big deal.

Philadelphia, PA – Just several days after losing a business deal with NBC 10, oft-controversial weatherman and founder of Weathersavior.com regained his partnership after angrily ranting on Twitter for over 48 hours.

“When he Tweeted and said he increased our hits by over three times, we had to reconsider. How could we not?” A contact at NBC 10 said this morning.

Bolaris gave weather updates and forecasts for NBC 10 until he was let go this past Saturday.

“Of course we knew we had made a mistake when he said, ‘The nation is full of hypocrites,Rapist, murderers,Woman abusers,Dog killers,pedophiles,Tax cheats ALL get hired & are working TODAY.’ We thought to ourselves, you know what, he has a point here,” the anonymous contact said.

“And then when he mentioned the ESPN reporter who was only suspended for ranting at a tow truck worker was not fired because she was hot, well, we knew he was absolutely correct.”

Bolaris was rehired this morning and given a lengthy apology from station management and it was all due to his well thought out, well balanced rant on Twitter.

As of press time, Bolaris was apparently preparing a lengthy tirade against the station and the other media big wigs who have fired him over the years for his first on-air appearance after being rehired.

Go let John know we love him on Twitter, please! @johnbolaris

Don Tollefson found guilty, implicates self in OJ Simpson murder case

328856_630x354Philadelphia PA – In a rambling, confused closing statement from former NBC sportscaster Don Tollefson, eyewitnesses reported the embattled media personality somehow implicated himself in the brutal murders of both Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson.

Tollefson represented himself against accusations of stealing more than $340,000 from sports fans through fundraisers for his charity Winning Ways. His closing arguments reportedly lasted more than 25 minutes in front of a stunned jury, who quickly found “Tolly” guilty of all five original counts, and then additionally found him guilty of the 1994 double murder charge originally levied against Simpson.

“I in no way did anything illegal. Those people who bought tickets and trips from my charity were recouped of all their losses. I am 100 percent innocent of all charges,” Tollefson reportedly said. “Unlike the murder charges that should have been brought against me in the early 90s for my brutal slaughtering of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson. Boy, I gave them what they deserved, that’s for sure.”

Tollefson then produced an old, brittle leather glove from his breast pocket, which he proceeded to use to mop his brow, leaving a streak of blood across his forehead.

“There was nothing sneaky about this, unlike how I sneakily crept into Nicole’s home on that fateful night, June 12th 1994,” he said.

As the judge urged him to remain quite, Tollefson ignored his pleas and continued his diatribe.

“Hell, I wasn’t even friends with OJ. I was just bored, wondered what it would be like to kill a man with my bare hands,” he said, eyes wide as he looked down at his shaking fists.

Finishing his closing argument, Tollefson picked up a courtroom microphone and theatrically dropped it to the ground, as he was then forcefully handcuffed by courtroom bailiffs.

Eyewitnesses reported that Tollefson could be heard yelling “What I do! What I do!” as he was led away from the courtroom.